


When Two Souls Collide

by PoisonIvyBlossom



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bandom - Freeform, Bands, Childhood Memories, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fear, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inner Dialogue, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Anguish, Minor Character(s), Musicians, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Minor Character, POV Tyler, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Regret, Religious Content, Sexual Abuse, Threats, Threats of Violence, Verbal Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 20:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7376692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonIvyBlossom/pseuds/PoisonIvyBlossom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...Someday surely we will find a way to stop lovingly hurting each other...<br/>Even if you embrace me till it's suffocating<br/>We will never become one<br/>The cold starts before dawn<br/>Please light a path that is solely for us" ~ Tyler Joseph</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Counting The Days

**Author's Note:**

> This place is so new to me and i'm not quite sure where this is going to take me but here is it. This is a pretty much "as i go" type of fanfic so i don't necessarily have concrete ideas, but i'm sure something good will come out of it! Stay safe and take care frens! <3  
> Also this fic is pretty much told in Tyler's point of view but sometimes in Josh's point of view since they are the only two in this fic, it would be kind of strange to see from only one side

Tyler’s POV

You know that feeling of utter pain and emptiness? That feeling of deep rooted depression? That feeling of…meaninglessness? That feeling of being broken into tiny fragmented shards? That is my daily existence…it’s the only existence I have come to accept, the only existence that was offered to me…  
“TyTy, why are you crying?” Joshua asked me. He was more or less the person who offered me the existence that I have come to accept. He was the closest thing to a caring soul that I have felt, in the past…how long has it been? 1,846 days, if I remember correctly…I’m not sure, I need to count the tally marks in my notebook again, soon. I keep forgetting to count, I just add.  
“No reason, I’m just thinking…thinking too much…” I said trying to shake the tears from my cheeks. He came over to me and looked at me. He kneeled to my level and took his thumbs and cleaned my cheeks. JoJo could be very caring, when I needed it. I thank him for that, every day I do a tally mark.  
“TyTy, you shouldn’t cry…you look hideous when you cry, I have told you that before…right?” he said effortlessly with a small smile, with his white teeth catching the light just right, giving them a slight shine. I smiled softly and nodded. JoJo is nice, really nice…he comforts me and hugs me and makes me feel like maybe I am cared for, maybe there is a little bit of hope left out there for me. Maybe it’s in his nature to be caring and loving, but that doesn’t take away that Joshua still exists….  
“Ty, are you hungry? Did you eat today?” JoJo asked looking at me. It was clear that I lost a bit of weight from my already slender frame, but it was due to no fault of his own, I just was thinking too much and forgot to eat.  
“No, I haven’t…I’m sorry that I have been wasting your food…I hope you can forgive me…” I said in a low mumble with my eyes aimed to the floor.  
“It’s okay, Ty…I’ll bring you something. Can I trust you enough to walk around the house and not leave? You know how I feel when I think you are going to leave, right?” he said caressing my face caringly with his hands and making a slight pouty face at me. He was trying to make me feel comfortable, I guess.  
“Yes, you can trust me enough for that. I won’t leave, I won’t ever leave…I love you” I said looking up to him hesitantly, it was hard for me to really look at him because I knew his face and eyes to be two different people. He lifted my face by my chin with his index finger and he smiled gently and gave a slight nod.  
“I love you too, TyTy. You are my baby, and you will always be mine and I will love and protect you for as long as I can. No one else in the world will ever hurt you, because I am here for you” he leaned in and have me a passionate yet soft kiss on my lips, which probably feel like sand paper from how much I bite them and how little care I have taken care of them in 1,846 days. He smiled and motioned for me to sit up. I did as I was told and he pulled a key out of his right pocket, his pants always would fit nice but he pockets were always tight. He unlocked the lock which chained my torso to the bed and the wall. Joshua used to have me always completely chained up to the bed and the wall. I couldn’t move more than four feet in any direction without those chains keeping me captive. Joshua had not only my torso chained to the bed and wall, but my ankles and my wrists. It was honestly nightmarish, all I could do was write in my notebook, and instead of writing words, every day I would make a tally mark. It was all I thought I could do and the only thing I actually could do. After about 280 days, JoJo started taking away the ankle and wrist locks. He complained that it bruised my delicate skin. That my soft skin bruised very easily and that the locks and chains in those areas were excessive. By day 568, he began to lengthen my torso chain, he also complained the red, purple, blue, black, and yellow didn’t look very good on my torso either so lengthening my torso chain was a no brainer. By day 932 my torso chain was lengthened to the length it is now. I could freely walk around my room and do things I wanted to do. JoJo was really nice, he brought me hair products to do my hair, special hygiene products for me to use that I requested, he even remodeled the bathroom in my room so I could have my own bathroom and not use a bucket all the time to do my necessities, and baby wipes to clean myself. JoJo would even bring in things for me to do. He brought me a guitar for me to play, but the strings hurt my fingers so he brought in a ukulele and I played it and he liked how I played, even though in the beginning I sounded horrible. Every few nights he brings it in for me to play for him and so I can sing for him. He tells me jokes and makes smile. I used to hate smiling because my bottom teeth aren’t the prettiest things in the world, but he says my bottom teeth have personality and make me look very adorable. JoJo also lets me cook for him sometimes, and would let me leave my room for a bit and walk around the house so I could watch TV, but the phone never worked and all of the windows were pretty much blocked out. No one could see in, and no one could see out. Sometimes I ask JoJo what the outside world is like and he says simply “Terrifying”. I usually nod my head and ask him about his day, and he would talk about his day then ask me about my day in return. JoJo is so nice to me, and he does things for me that I appreciate more than he could ever imagine.  
“Okay, so I’m going to bring you something, I’ll surprise you” JoJo smiled as he pulled me up to my feet. He looked at me with a shy smiled as he took my hand and led me out my room. this place was nice, I like this place. It was pretty, it had a very cozy feeling. It felt like a home that could belong to anyone, anyone could walk in here and feel right at home. JoJo loved cats, so there were always little kitten and cat figurines and pictures everywhere. There were also a lot of religious gifts as well in here, and frames that had prayers on them. Sometimes when he is out and he lets me walk around, I read the prayers and talk to God. Sometimes God doesn’t answer, but that’s okay. God is busy lining up the life of someone else and can’t possibly have time to talk to me all the time.  
“TyTy, I need to you lay here and watch TV, is that okay with you? Can you do that?” he asked as he grabbed some keys, possibly car keys.  
“Of course I can, I know the drill too. If I hear any knocking or door knob jiggling that doesn’t sound like you, I drop to the floor and stay as still as possible till it stops and I don’t get back up until you come home and you say I can” I recited to him so proudly.  
he chuckled a bit and said “finally that stuck in your brain. I’ll be back soon”

JoJo has been gone for a few hours, and now I’m starting to get worried. He left at 9:17pm and it is now 11:37pm. A few minutes after he left, a downpour hit, and it still hasn’t let up. Why has he been gone for so long? Did he leave me? Does he not love me? Does he not care for me? I was feeling my heart bubble and pound at the same time and a breaking in my chest. A cold and clamminess in my extremities but a broken feeling in my chest. Did JoJo leave me?  
“JoJo, please come back to me” I whispered very lowly. I wasn’t allowed to speak when he wasn’t here. Im not sure how he knew when I spoke when he wasn’t here, but he always did. He also knew when I didn’t speak, he knew everything. He knows everything, so that is why I trust him.  
a door knob began to jiggle and it was the backdoor. I didn’t know what to do, JoJo never came in through the back door of the house. Was I supposed to drop to the floor? Was I supposed to go check it out? Lord, what am I supposed to do? JoJo never told me what to do if I heard the back door being messed with. Rain started banging on the windows harder and louder. I didn’t know what to do, the back door knob was being messed with and I’m not sure what to do. I just laid on the sofa and hoped whoever it was, would go away.  
“click” I heard the back door knob open up and I felt…anxious and afraid. I heard a calmness in the footsteps and the door being closed. I heard keys and a paper back being dropped on the counter near the back door. Who is it, God…please tell me who is it. The steps became closer and closer with a little more thump in them as the steps came closer towards me. I looked, and it was JoJo my eyes of worry melted to relief, but that was only for a second…  
“Why aren’t you on the fucking floor?” Joshua said with a scowl to his face. Before I could actually fathom an explanation, he began to take off his belt.  
“Please, I’m sorry…it’s won’t happen again, I’m sorry. I am so very sorry” I whimpered as I felt worry build back into my body and my extremities become cold again. I began to open and close my hands, since I felt my hands begin to go numb. No words from Joshua, just his belt slashing through the air to hit my upper arms and my legs. every time I heard that belt slash through the air, I knew it was going to try and slash my skin just as easily. This is actually a very uncommon punishment from Joshua and was actually considered light punishment by his standards. Even though “light” it didn’t take away the deep stinging I felt on my skin and flesh. I guess my red face and tears of utter agony weren’t enough. He had to hear something from me. He pulled me by my left arm and pulled me to the floor he hit me with his belt on my back, I felt the stinging, I felt the bruises begin to form under my skin, but still nothing other than small whimpers and sobs. He dropped his belt and ripped the back of my shirt open and picked up his belt again and I heard the quick slices of the belt through the air and onto my bare back. I felt my skin start to rip open and I could feel warm liquid pool and drip on my back. Despite this, I only sobbed and whimpered, just now a little louder. He dropped the belt again, could his punishment be over?  
he flipped my stressed filled body over and he grabbed my face and squeeze my jaw tightly to inflict more pain on me. He clenched his teeth and through clenched teeth in an almost demonic voice he uttered “You fucking fairy, you cunt faced piece of worthless shit. You aren’t anything, you are fucking dumb as fuck and no one misses you. No one bothers to even find you. You mean nothing in this world and I am the only thing in this world that cares about you and keeps you safe. You are so fucking retarded that you can’t even follow the simple directions I gave for years. You are fucking moronic and you aren’t worth a damn thing. You don’t even deserve to eat”  
My tears were now full of fire and pain and the only desire I had was to go back to my room.  
“The fuck you have to say, cunt face?” he uttered through clenched teeth as he squeezed my jaw tighter than he had before.  
“I..I want…” I wimpered, I felt so helpless and broken, Joshua needs to stop this, I am hurting, I’m in pain…where is JoJo, he would never do this to me. JoJo loves me.  
“You want what, you little bitch?”  
“…my…room…” I sobbed as I felt the liquid on my back still dripping but starting to dry up. It was horrible, I can’t take this. Why does Joshua do this to me?  
“Your room? you fucking bitch…I’ll take you to your room, you fucking slut” Joshua said letting my jaw go but now picking me up by my arms and pushing me towards my room and he started to undo his pant.  
Joshua, no please stop…this isn’t good, when JoJo sees what happened he will be very upset, please stop…  
“You’re my little fucking slut and you’re going enjoy this” Joshua said as he pushed me down to my bed and began to take my shorts and boxers off. I kicked Joshua, Joshua doesn’t love me. Joshua doesn’t deserve me, Joshua is hurting me.  
“You dare fight me, little girl?! You act like a bitch and you are going to get fucked like a bitch!” he said before giving me a stiff punch to my jaw, knocking the fight right out of me. He flipped me over and propped my lower body up. I felt my soul being ripped away from me, tearing of my innocence, the ripping of my body and my mind…Joshua is hurting me, Joshua is killing me. JoJo, where are you? You said you wouldn’t leave me and that you love me…you said you would protect me…protect me…please…


	2. Chain of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been having these weird thoughts lately.... Like, is any of this for real... or not?"
> 
> "We will stop dreaming, we will stop racing towards a warm place  
> We will surely overcome the cruel dawn  
> We'll abandon the quietness  
> We'll surely find the true words, meant to be spoken" ~ Tyler Joseph
> 
> *Key to this chapter and continuing chapters*  
> Bold and Italic ~ Flashback  
> Italic ~ Tyler's conscience/inner voice  
> Italic and Underlined ~ unnamed/undisclosed inner voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens! it's been a week since my last update and so...here is a new chapter!  
> So a little info about the summaries. Most of the time i'm probably not going to summarize because i am horrible at summarizing things so i will post a line or two that has to do with the title or the ending of fic, completely. Which brings me to this, anything that is written that then has "~ Tyler Joseph" is actually part of a bigger message that will eventually show up in it's entirety, towards the end of this fic (where ever the end may be). So basically i'm giving you bits a pieces of the ending (I have what he writes/says, written down, so don't worry about me forgetting hehe) and as of right now, that piece will ended up being seen or happening somewhere in Tyler's room (this can change later on). So if you want you can try to piece the messages together but, they aren't actually in order and sometimes the lines will be repeated (sorry frens, i can't make it too easy on you guys!) I hope you guys enjoy! I probably will update next Saturday or Sunday, and i will see from there!
> 
> Thank you frens! I hope you all enjoy and you all stay safe and take care!

Tyler’s POV  
  
_“ **Mama, what is the world like?” I asked as I hugged her in bed. I must have been 9 years old or so.**_  
**“Well Tyler, the world is big. It’s beautiful, it’s exciting…though at times it might be scary, the world is full of a lot of amazing things and you will eventually learn of all of the beautiful things that exist out there”**  
**“Like Love?”**  
**she giggled a bit and nodded saying “Yes, like love…love is very beautiful, very exciting, but very scary…but love is the most healing of emotions. It will make you forgot of all the bad that comes with it and all the horrific things in the world. Love conquers all but…sometimes it starts fires inside of us and starts internal battles and wars. Love is a mixture of all the good and bad in the world, but it’s…still very beautiful and worthwhile”**  
**“I want to be in love one day, mom”**  
**“One day you will Tyler, One day you will”**

_Not like this...not like this…I don’t want to be in love like this…_

“TyTy, Wake up” JoJo said playing in my hair, it’s been 1,850 days and JoJo is as sweet as ever. I creeped my eyes open and I smiled slightly as I saw his eyes looking at his hand which was still playing in my hair. “Am I chained?” I asked in my croaky morning voice.  
“No, I didn’t think you wanted to be chained…do you want to be chained?”  He moved his glance towards my eyes. I shook my head no as I rolled on top of him. It’s actually really rare that he lays in my bed with me and even rarer that he does so when I’m not chained up. My bed isn’t the most sanitary of places, but JoJo does clean it once a month but certain stains will never come out. Most of the stains are blood, some of them deeply embedded tears. JoJo changes my sheets and blankets twice a month, and my pillow cases once every three or four days. He mostly changes the pillow cases while I slept, since I sink into the fetal position every night to sleep, usually. Never the less, JoJo shouldn’t be on my bed, the blood stains gross me out, so can you imagine how grossed out he is about my bed?  
“TyTy, Are you feeling better?” he asked rubbing the sides of my torso.  
“Yes…” I responded without thought but really didn’t mean my response. I was really sore from Joshua attacking me and every time I used the bathroom I still bled a little bit. Joshua hurt me really badly but JoJo is here now, so I am okay, I am safe.  
“TyTy, are you lying to me?” he asked with a mischievous yet friendly smirk as he played in my hair.  
“It still hurts, a little…..a lot” I responded, laying on his chest and just hearing his heartbeat. It was a loud thump but underneath the loud thumps, were small subtle pats, that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  
“TyTy, do you want me to do anything for you? Anything you want, I will do” he spoke effortlessly before he gave me a sweetly simple kiss on my forehead.  
“Uh…I don’t know”  
“Aww TyTy, you know I will do anything to protect you and I will always love you. Just say what you want and I will do it for you”  
“Well, can you…baby me?” I asked with an immense amount of trepidation in my voice, I know it sounds stupid but JoJo is the best at babying me and taking care of me. He makes me feel loved, he makes me feel safe.  
“Of course I can do that, I do that every day!” he chuckled. “But since you asked me, I will do it a lot more today and the next few days, just because you are my TyTyBaby”  
I smiled gently to myself and hugged him tightly. He returned the hug and I felt protected, I felt loved, I felt secure, I felt…invincible.

 

**_“Mama! Look at me! Nothing can touch me! I’m soaring through the sky!” I was running through my backyard with a towel around my neck and tin foil on my head. I was a super hero, I was flying, I was untouchable, I was the protector of my own little universe.  
“Tyler! Come into the house! The world is already safe! Now it’s time to wash up and eat dinner!” my mother laughed with such glee. At 9 years old, I was on top of the world. I was jetting through any obstacles in my way, and did it with such vigor, I would like to think it left everyone in awe. My world was happy, it was perfect, idealistic I would even go as far to see. In my universe and in my world, I felt…invincible._ **

 

_No, that’s not the life you wanted, that’s not the life you wanted…JoJo, JoJo, JoJo…Joshua?_

 

 “TyTyBaby, do you want anything from the store? You can get anything you want” JoJo smiled as he picked up his car keys. We were in the living room, and this was actually one of the few afternoons I was allowed to walk around the living room. JoJo was very careful with me, he said that people could see shadows from the covered windows moving, and that’s why he almost never wanted to me to walk around in the morning or the afternoon.  
“I want…”  
“ _Say a rosary_ ” a dull whisper came into my ear, leaving to look around me. JoJo and Joshua and I are the only ones who live here.  
“TyTy, what do you want from the store?” JoJo asked again, seemingly a little worried that I didn’t respond as quickly as I should of.  
“…A rosary” I said kind of weirded out, maybe I had a mental thought out loud in my mind.  
“Oh! I was thinking more along the lines of food, but I can get you one, anything else?”  
“Pencil sharpeners, my pencils are getting dull again and I only have pens…” I responded, still trying to figure out what the whisper was.  
“Okay sure, TyTy…but food wise, what do you want?” JoJo giggled  
“Oh uh…a deluxe cheeseburger and fries from Friendly’s and a vanilla milkshake with candy in it…any candy, surprise me…” I said not too sure if that was too much to ask for.  
JoJo chuckled and said “That’s fine, I’ll bring you all that…it might take me a while, but I’ll come back. TyTy, can you stay in your room though? I kind of want to bring you something else, but it’s a surprise”  
I nodded and said “Sure, of course I can…I’ll go now” I began to make my way towards my room but JoJo light grasped my right hand and turned me around.  
“I love you, TyTy…always remember that” JoJo said before giving me a soft peck on the lips “I’ll be back soon” he said as he looked me in my eyes and gave of a slightly joyful smile.  
I smiled shyly as my cheeks became scarlet “I love you too…”  
He grinned gently “Okay TyTy, now go to your room, I don’t want you to spoil your surprise” he let me go and I walked with a little more joy in my step, I guess you can say. I honestly hope that my Surprise doesn’t come back with Joshua….

_Joshua is hurting me, Joshua is killing me_

_**“God…God…Where are you?”**  
**“Tyler, God is everywhere” My mom said**  
**“But God loves everyone, right Mama?”**  
**“Yes, God loves everyone Tyler, why do you ask?”**  
**“Mama, if God loves everyone then why does God punish people?”**  
**“Tyler, God doesn’t punish people…”**  
**“Mama, God punishes everyone”**  
**“How so, Tyler?”**  
**“God punishes bad people and good people, all the time. People that survived bad storms lose everything and people who kill other people, get killed of die too, eventually”**  
**“Tyler, God doesn’t punish people…God tests their faith in him. If the people of the storm can lose everything but still come back strong, that was a test the God gave them and they passed it”**  
**“And what about the people who kill other people? They are bad, but why don’t they die as the person they are killing, dies?”**  
**“Well Tyler….”**  
_  
_Mom? MOM!_  
  
I sat in my room and looked around. I couldn’t speak when JoJo wasn’t around. JoJo always knew, so I tried my best to always listen and follow what he said. My room wasn’t the most well-lit of places, it had a soft yellow light bulb hanging in the center of the ceiling but it illuminated my room to the point that I could see things well. Joshua kept me in this room with no lighting at for the first 14 days, I really don’t remember much from the first 14 days, other than it was really dark, and very painful. A lot of ripping, a lot of breaking, a lot of my soul…being taken from me, ravished and tossed to the side. My soul was pretty much the only thing that never seemed to be shook when bad things happened. When everything was going bad, I had to look deep inside of myself to figure out how my soul felt about all the bad things happening in front of me and around me…my soul never wavered and it never felt touched. My soul was in my point of view, ethereal and omnipotent but…Joshua did something to my soul that pained me very much. I wish I could say what it was, but my soul ever since day 1, was shattered, it was tainted it was…starting to empty…  
Other than that, it was a pretty regular room. I cleaned up after myself by picking up clothes I might have left hanging around on the floor, but JoJo honestly did all the cleaning. He took care of me and he loved me. He made sure I was fed every day, he made sure I bathed every day, he made sure the wounds left by Joshua were tended to and were healing properly, every day. JoJo showed me and told me he loved me, every day he was around. JoJo is honestly the sweetest human being, the sweetest soul that I have ever come in contact with, in my entire existence…  
I really don’t have much in my room as decoration either, just little doodles that I made that I was sometimes proud of, which I would tape up to the walls. I would keep the ukulele in the corner but I wasn’t allowed to keep it in my room because JoJo was afraid I would play it without him being here. I can never play it when he isn’t here…that’s just one of his rules. One of my most prized possessions here was my notebook, it was a black 5 subject notebook. I’m not sure why JoJo would leave a five subject notebook in here, but since it was in my room, I started making the tally marks and he keep supplying me with pens and pencils. He didn’t really see any harm in my doodles and tallies so I guess he let me keep doing them in this notebook…

 

**_“Tyler, where is your notebook? You can’t leave without your notebook” my mom said._**  
**“I’m not sure, I’ll get it when I come back”**  
**“Tyler, I really think you should take your notebook. Don’t you think you will get bored without it?”**  
**“No, I don’ think I will…but if I do I’ll just buy another one, and bring it back”**  
**“Tyler, your room is getting filled with them. Why don’t you take the notebook you are trying to finish?”**  
**“I can’t find it, I’ll find it when I come back”**  
**“Okay Tyler, just remember that…”**

_Mom! Remember what? What do you want me to remember?!_

 

I flipped through the pages of my notebook and saw all the tally marks I made, I made a system to count them. I pretty much made 10 sets of 5 tally marks for each line, but the line underneath I would skip to make the pages look neater, and I never tallied on the back of the page, always the front of the pages. I would skip the top margin and the line under that is where my tallies would start, and it was 16 lines I would tally in on the page. I only had 2 pages and a third filled in, but that’s a lot of tallies, if you really think about it…  
One of the full pages, I would always stare at, some of it was a lot neater than the others, but that’s okay…right? There was always one section I would stare at…there wasn’t anything actually wrong with it, but occasionally a scribbled out tally would appear and so did the words “Why Tyler?” with a question mark and an arrow pointing at the scribbled out tally…then just under the scribble was “I fixed it, Mama”…the scribbled out tally…isn’t actually there, and the words aren’t there…right?

“TyTyBaby, I’m home, I got you your things, and your surprise” JoJo said as he closed the door, I’m not sure how long I have been looking at my tally marks, but I suppose it has been long enough. I closed my notebook and peeked my head from out of my room. he smiled at me and waved a bag of food and motioned me to come out. I quickly walked my way towards him and sat carefully on the floor. JoJo hated either of us to eat on his sofa.  
“You want to watch television, TyTy?” JoJo asked.  
“No…just eat and talk to you and look at you…if that’s okay…” I said a bit embarrassed.  
he smiled softly and said “Sure, but first…your surprise…” he said heading back to the kitchen. JoJo left the food in the bag for me, right next to me. I’m not going to touch it…he should open the bag and give me the food…right?  
JoJo came out with something in hands and then showed it to me.  
“Surprise…” JoJo said a little nervously, I could detect his nerves, which he only let out when he was trying to do something sweeter for me, than usual. I looked at what was in his hands and it was little kitten. My heart automatically melted and I leaped up from the floor.  
“It is a boy? Is it a girl?”  
“he is a boy, what do you want to name him?”  
“Uh…Jordie?”  
“That’s a…really cute name, TyTy. I love it. His nickname will DeeDee”  
I blushed as he gave me her to hold.  
“You are so cute DeeDee, why are you so cute? I love you DeeDee, I want to hug you and squeeze you and love you forever” I gushed over him.  
“TyTy, aren’t you going to eat?”  
“Oh…I will, but can I play with him for a little while? …please?”  
JoJo smiled a bit and said “Of course you can, just keep it down, okay?”  
“Okay, I love you so much…” I said to both DeeDee and JoJo

_Don’t get attached…love is always ripped away by the seams…._

 

[](http://s1152.photobucket.com/user/PoisonIvyBlossom/media/Tally%20Marks_zpsugj5toe2.jpg.html)


	3. Is this the End? Is this the Beginning? Is this the end of the Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 1 *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...after some consideration, i thought a bit on why i don't add Extras? Extra's will be background, often times. They are little bits and pieces that wouldn't usually come out in the regular story and gives you a bit of insight as to what is going on.  
> As stated before, this fic will be primarily told in Tyler's point of view though Josh's point of view will pop up occasionally, but not nearly as much as Tyler's. Extras, will be told mostly in a 3rd person point of view, because who doesn't like being the outsider, looking in?  
> I'm sure that's just me, but oh well
> 
> I hope you all are having an amazing day/afternoon/evening! Also if i figure out how to do this...on the top or the side, a playlist will pop up, and for this particular extra you will click on "Two (Sleep)" for the music that i listened to, while making this short extra!  
> Take care and Stay safe, Frens!

  
~  
~  
~  
~  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: I really should be going to sleep…it’s Two in the morning, ya know?

  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: I know you do…sorry about today, it’s just I’m kind of nervous to really approach you, you look really nice Ty…I’m just not sure if you would like me after I approach you…  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: JoJo, I have seen you around Columbus before and I was scared to approach you as well, we have even made eye contact before…I know what you mean. I just think it would have been weird for you for me to approach you…you are a bit older than me, ya know? You are in your 20’s and I’m still a stupid high schooler…  
  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: Ty, you aren’t a stupid high schooler…you are really smart for your age and you are very sweet…I’m scared to really approach you…and like you said, we make eye contact in public and I smile and you smile and it feels like…I’m not sure how to explain it…but things feel right…a little better than usual, I guess you can say  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: Thank you JoJo, you really know your way into my heart…I can never really stay upset at you for a long time. One of us has got to stop feeling shy one day, you know? I love how gentle you are with me, all the time…you are the older one, why don’t you make the first move?  
  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: Just because I was born first, don’t make me less shy…but I guess I could try and do that…Uh, what about you come to market street, and we have a date at the gallery? And I will finally come up to you and not be so shy?

 _On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: The gallery? I’m okay with that! What day? Can it be after the last day of school? I want to talk to the few friends I have before hanging out with you, then going home to get ready for my friend’s Brandon’s party…is that okay?  
  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: yeah that’s fine…what day is the last day of school?  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: Your special day…Your birthday hehe

 _On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: Oh! That’s great actually! Uh…so on my birthday?  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: Yes! That would be great! So uh…see you then, JoJo?  
  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: Yes Ty, see you then. I love you  
  
_On_The_RobandTy is typing…_  
On_The_RobandTy: I love you too, JoJo  
  
_On_The_WillandJo is typing…_  
On_The_WillandJo: Okay bye, I’ll see you soon  < 3  
  
  
On_The_WillandJo has disconnected from the chat  
  
  
  
_Less than 3 Tyler, that’s an interesting expression…_ ~~you should have know better~~ …you do know better, actually…  
  
  
  
_Don’t get attached…love is always ripped away by the seams…_  
  
  
  
_SLEEP!_


	4. Birth by Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 2*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens! I'm so sorry i didn't put up the extra, yesterday like I said i would. I got unexpectedly busy yesterday and I might be busy again today so ahh! but Here is an extra and it is told by another unnamed character. Be mindful that extras are just background and additions to the main fic to give insight to what is going on in the main fic. So any character that is speaking in extras aren't adding to the fic, they are just adding to your knowledge about what is transpiring in the fic :) So enjoy this Extra and I will be on my way with a real fic chapter and get it up as soon as I can <3 
> 
> I hope you all are having an amazing day/afternoon/night, frens! Stay safe and take care!

The Gallery ain’t much but a run down shopping mall district. It’s kind of going to hell anyways, but in my 46 years of coming here and 30 years of working here, every day to see what people like and don’t like, to help run my shop better…I have run into a few familiar faces. One of the most treasured faces in my eyes was little Tyler’s. Mrs. Joseph would always come on Saturdays to pick out clothing for her sons and daughter, buy them little toys and food and anything they really wanted. I also believe it was to spend quality time with her kids. The oldest one Tyler, was a cutie pie. He was very sweet as well, especially with his siblings and younger children. He is the most loving and respectful teenage boy I have ever had interactions with. Always said please and thank you, always said yes ma’am and no ma’am. I watched that boy grow up from the tiniest baby to the young man that he is now…he is still in high school I assume, but in a few years I think he will make a fine husband to some young girl out there. Though…he could like boys as well, I mean…nothing wrong with that…but I would like to see mini Tyler’s running around in the world, one day. I must admit, the past few months he has been coming here with his family, he has been acting a bit…different, almost as if he was searching for someone in the distance. Maybe that could just be me, I’m 66 and losing a bit of my sight, already. Tyler was still the same…but…ah I can’t put my eyes and fingers on it, I would go as far to say as a chunk of something was missing and he was just trying to find it. Maybe he got a significant other and was hoping to run into them here? I’m not sure? Oh well, I should go back to cleaning the bins in my shop. This dollar store isn’t much and sure the products are crappy, but people still buy from here, not sure why…but they just do.

“Notebooks, I need to get notebooks…Tyler Joseph pretty much has bought all my notebooks…God, that kid will turn into a fantastic poet or book writer one day…” I smiled a bit as I shifted through about the 20 notebooks I had left, in the notebook bin. As I glanced up, I saw Tyler and smiled to myself and waved him towards me, he grinned his big grin and waved back and began walking towards me. It’s a little strange he is here without his mom and siblings, also very strange he is here on a weekday, but I accept it…he looked happy so nothing could be wrong. He looked slightly to his right and his grin simmered down a bit, but was still there. A person in a gray pullover hoodie and black pants and sneakers walked into him and they and Tyler walked away together. Tyler just went with this person, just walked with them. Maybe they knew each other? Friends, maybe….?


	5. Silent In The Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely more graphic than the ones i have put up so far, so trigger warnings intensified
> 
> "...The voices disappeared, the faces disappeared..." ~ Joshua Dun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise frens! I made a new chapter and as you guys can see...it's from Josh's Point of View!  
> Just like the whole " ~ Tyler Joseph" thing, Josh has one too! I'm letting you guys know a bit of the ending, and you guys can try and piece Josh's message together too!  
> Anyways, this chapter IS more graphic than the previous chapters, so please be aware of that  
> I hope you all are having an amazing morning/afternoon/night!  
> Take care and stay safe frens!
> 
> The key for this Josh chapter is:
> 
> Italic ~ Josh's inner thoughts/voice  
> Bold and Italic ~ Memory/Flashback  
> Bold, Italic, Underlined ~ undisclosed/unknown inner voice  
> Bold ~ Voices  
> Italic and Underlined ~ Josh's words (ode to chapter title)  
> Bold and Underlined ~ Tyler Joseph's words

Josh’s POV  
  
_What’s wrong with me? What am I doing? Why am I doing this?_

You guys might see me as some type of monster, but I am not one…I seriously am not…I can’t explain this situation, I can’t explain my relationship with Ty either. I don’t call him by his name, it…it’s not fitting for him. I like Ty…it’s short and adorable…adorable like he is.  
I never anticipated on keep Ty this long…  
I wish I could explain myself, but I can’t. There isn’t much of an explanation that I can give for what I do to him…but I can try…

Ty wasn’t the first boy I did this to…there were others… I wasn’t much of a social kid growing up, I was the oldest sibling and a lot of responsibilities fell onto me. I had to be a protector, I had to be the disciplinarian, I had to be the nurturer, I had to do everything that a parent should have done. I was about 8 or 9, being a parent to kids 6 years old and younger…I had to grow up pretty fast, so I didn’t have fun. My parents worked all the time, thus why I was the next best thing. They worked to make ends meet where we lived and to buy us things…the only times I would have fun was in the summer. My parents had more lenient hours then and I was allowed to go out, but since I wasn’t very social because I was an “adult” by the age of 9, I didn’t really have friends. I took care of kids during the summer, I rode my bike and watched little kids. I was 10 years old and I took care of small children. They were newborns to maybe 5 years old. Little babies, and surprisingly mostly they were boys. I taught a lot of them how to ride a bike, I potty trained a few of them and…I’m not sure…I was a parent, like I always was…  
Anyways when I say there were others…they were…  
when I was 13, a new boy came to our block…his parents never really watched over him, from what I could tell. He was 6 years old and his…his name…was Tyler. Tyler was always alone, he looked sad, defeated, lost…  
By that time I didn’t really look after babies anymore and just smaller children, and they rode bikes…so I rode by his house with the other kids I took care of and asked him if he wanted to ride his bike with us, to which he smiled a huge grin and jumped on his bike with such effervescence and…he seemed to be genuinely happy, for the first time…ever, I think…  
we all rode our bikes together and we hung out, I took care of them and kept them out of trouble. Eventually Tyler would ride his bike alone during the night to find me where I usually hung out, at night. Every night when my siblings were sleeping and my parents would get home from work to sleep, I would go hang out by myself, in a park that was more like a hiking trail, very wooded and quiet…  
Tyler would find me and at first it scared me because he was supposed to be home, sleeping…but he would find me to hug me, tell me he loved me, and he would cuddle himself under my arms, then fall asleep…Night after night, it was the same thing…so I would stay there and let him sleep, eventually I would fall asleep with him in my arms, but I would wake him up and to tell him to go home to pretend he was sleeping at home and I did the same.  
This is where things get sorted, those nights in the park turned into me kissing him, at first it was innocent, kind of fatherly kisses to his forehead and then it escaladed…

  
one night I lost a bit of control, he was being loud, he said I was hurting him, that he was bleeding, he started screaming…I just wanted him to be quiet…I just wanted him to be….quiet…

  
Tyler…uh…he stopped screaming…  
…he stopped moving…  
I got scared, I left…  
  
His parents didn’t even notice he was gone…I had to tell my parents that I hadn’t seen Tyler in a few days…they called the police and they searched for him.  
The search ended pretty quickly, they found him…the news stories hurt me, they made me sound like a horrible person…

 

“The search for six-year-old Tyler Black has ended in tragedy. Tyler was found in the eastern section of Fairmount park, he was repeatedly beaten and sexually assaulted, the cause of death is yet to be determined”  
“Tyler Black’s family is now seeking justice for their son who was repeatedly beaten and sexually assaulted, and who’s cause of death was intracranial bleeding from blows to the head”  
“Tyler Black’s family are still seeking justice against the person who raped and murdered their son”

 

You guys get the picture, right? Every time one of those news stories would come up, I would start crying and my parents and siblings would come around me to hug me and tell me that it’s okay, whoever did this to Tyler would be caught. They knew I adored Tyler, I adored him just as much as I adored my siblings, maybe even a little more? Maybe almost like a son? The whole community except the kids, had no idea that Tyler existed. My parents only knew because I looked after him, so guess who the police questioned first…  
I got away because my alibi was pretty air tight, I was supposed to be at home and by the time I left and came back…people would be sleeping so it was almost as if I never left home.

At Tyler’s funeral, his parents were crying, though I didn’t understand why because they didn’t even notice he was gone, my parents had to call the police for them to notice. Tyler’s father said a few words and then he thanked me for being more of a parent than he or his wife ever were to their son.  
  
“Joshua, would you like to come up and say a few words about Tyler?” His father ask me with tears in his eyes, practically begging me. I wasn’t really ready, but I did…  
I got up there and said what I could…  
  
“I didn’t really know Tyler all that well, well better said…I didn’t know him for too long. I just took care of him as I did with a few other neighborhood children…it’s in my nature to be fatherly. I always looked forward to seeing him ride his bike next to me, every day. I looked forward to him telling me about his day and how he was feeling and such…it hurts me a lot that this is the last time I see him…and it’s in this way…I would have much rather him to be on his bike, laughing and talking about colors and numbers and other things, right now. But you know what’s interesting? I wouldn’t want to remember him like he is right now, I would much rather remember him for who…he was. Loving, courageous, carefree and happy-go-lucky…I would like to think he left a piece of himself behind to all the of people blessed enough to be graced with his presence…I think…for me…his heart...will beat inside me, he’ll be with me, forever…” I glanced down at his open casket and all I saw in my head were altering flashes of him screaming in pain and him laughing with me as we rode our bikes, together. It would lie if I said I wasn’t horrified at my actions and I don’t still see Tyler’s screaming face of agony, to this day…  
  
After Tyler’s Funeral, his parents gave me a few of his belongings. They said it was more fitting for me to have them, since I was basically his parent. It was a box of toys and things, a few small stuffed animals he owned, a little kitten plush that I got for him once because he was upset he couldn’t have a cat…then all the way at the bottom were little notepads, and a notebook. I didn’t look in them immediately, I waited a few weeks after Tyler was buried before looking at the notepads and the notebook. When I finally looked in the note pads, all I saw were tally marks and in the notebooks, all I saw were doodles and drawings. The doodles and drawings all had on reoccurring theme…  
  
**_“This is my dad, Josh”_**  
 **“This is my dad and my bes fren, Josh”**  
 **“This is Josh”**  
 **“Josh and I are frens”**  
 **“Josh lovs me and I lov him!”**  
 **“I wood nevr hurt Josh”**  
 **“Josh wood nevr hurt me”**  
 **“Josh maks me lauf”**  
 **“Josh maks me smil”**  
 **“Josh and I rid biks”**  
 **“Josh liks trees”**  
 **“Josh liks me”**  
 **“Josh hugs me”**  
 **“Josh maks me fel saf”**  
 **“Josh makes me hapy”**

Every single page of the notebook was him talking about me, and all the drawings were about me and him or just me. I could never fathom at the time that he cared about me that much, that I was seemingly his world…The very last page of the notebook was empty…it was empty…

So I spent this whole time talking about Tyler, but like I said…there were others…  
  
I lost track of all the names that had similar fates, like Tyler’s. Ten years of my life I spent trying to have another “Tyler”, someone who cared about me and that made me their world…  
  
**_So many boys…so many…_**  
  
So many screams, and faces of pain, and of happiness and laughs…just alternating between each other…but the last screaming face I see, is Tyler’s…his was so small and so scared, and defenseless and…he trusted me…he…loved me…  
The kids I used to look after slowly started disappearing, some because their parents became scared that their child would be targeted by the unknown person who killed Tyler, so they just kept them home, some because they moved away, and some…were found in Fairmont park…  
  
_I would never lure them there, ever…they just…showed up…_  
  
Eventually my parents thought it would be best for me to stop riding my bike around the neighborhood. I was 17 when they came to that conclusion, and so I followed what they told me, I knew that eventually I would be found out, if I continued…  
  
_…but I kept going…_  
  
I just moved around now, different cities in Ohio now started having children go missing and they were being found dead in different places…I swear I didn’t want to hurt them, I just wanted them to love me and for them to be quiet…  
My siblings were pretty much on their own, they either spent time at friend’s houses or were at camps, so I was alone, all the time…  
I took odd jobs all around Ohio to cover up why I was always in different cities and towns, I didn’t go to college, I just worked. Usually labor type jobs, I had to lift things and repair things and such.  
All of Ohio pretty much was on code red Amber alerts since I was 18 years old, all children were considered endangered and they should always travel in groups and not talk to strangers. It didn’t really bother me since I really did want to stop doing this, but then I realized my lack of friend’s problem could be fixed with, social media…but then that opened up new ways of doing, what I was trying my hardest to stop doing…

Now, I did have friends my own age but then somehow the younger ones would end up talking to me and…the cycle continued…

**_STOP! YOU ARE HURTING ME! NOO! STOP IT! PLEASE! STOP IT! I’M BLEEDING! IT HURTS! IT REALLY HURTS!_ **

Every year I got older, so did the little ones. When I was 20, the little ones were 13, when I was 22, they were 15…

But then Ty came along, and I…I didn’t know what to do…his face, his words, his mannerisms, his body type…his name…

**_This is my fren, Josh  
Josh maks me fel saf_ **

Ty is so small and…I can’t…he…

**_Josh lovs me and I lov him!_ **

I wish I could…

 _Tyler, you have to be quiet or the trees won’t speak to us_  
Tyler…I just wanted you to be quiet…

 _Ty, I love you and I will protect you as much as I can…_  
**“No! Please stop! It hurts! Oh my god, please stop! It hurts so much…”**  
  
Ty, please…forgive me, I don’t want to hurt you…you just have to listen to me…just listen to me…please…


	6. There's nothing here but what here's mine...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 3*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Frens! I have an Extra for you guys! (and two other ones, the 2nd one I will put up Wednesday, and the 3rd on Friday)  
> Then you guys get a new Chapter Saturday or Sunday! Woo!  
> Anyways, if you guys ever wonder where the titles of the Extras come from, They are probably odes to things i have written before, video game odes, or lyrics to a song i'm listening at the moment i am putting this up. However i try to get them to make sense for the content of the Extra  
> I hope you all are having a fantastic Morning/Afternoon/Night!  
> Take Care and Stay Safe, Frens <3
> 
> (Also the Extras are told in chronological order and pick up right after each other)

“Ohio is once again the epicenter of an Amber Alert for the abduction of 16-year-old Tyler Joseph. All of the United States is now on alert. Ohio has been at the center of child abductions, rapes, and murders, for a decade. The first of known attacks was of a 6-year-old child named Tyler Black. Tyler Black was repeatedly sexually assaulted and beaten, he died from intracranial bleeding caused by blows to the head. Eye witness accounts of Tyler Joseph indicate that Tyler was walking around the strip mall known to residents as “The Gallery” between 10am and 1pm. No eye witness accounts describe Tyler as looking fearful or endangered. Ohio state police haven’t ruled out the possibility of Tyler being a runaway, but in light of the child abductions and murders spanning ten years, the Amber alert has been issued as a precaution. We'll have more on this story at a later date. Live at Eastern Columbus Gallery, I am Elizabeth Armstrong, for Channel 10 Daily News”


	7. Be still, be calm, be quiet now, my precious boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 4*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop Woop Frens! I have the extra I promised you guys <3  
> The title is pretty much lyrics to a song i'm listening to right now, it doesn't really have anything to with the extra honestly hehe (The song is Lullaby by The Cure, and heads up...Friday's Extra will be called Lullaby because of this song but also because it has to deal with the content of the extra)
> 
> Anyways Frens! I'm not going to lie, I am feeling a bit antsy to put up Friday's extra because I get to put up a picture with it, which is always fun...SO! I /might/ put it up later, or tomorrow...but if not definitely Friday <3 
> 
> I hope you all are having an amazing morning/afternoon/night, where ever you may be in this horrifyingly ugly yet amazingly beautiful world we live in! <3

“…I can’t crack this…”  
“What do you mean you can’t crack this? Aren’t you a hacker or something? It’s impossible that my 16-year-old son blocked his computer so well that 28 year old man can’t crack it!”  
“Listen! Your son is really good with computers, when I couldn’t crack something, I would hand it off to him and he would have it cracked in less than an hour…Tyler is really good with them, he…I’m not sure what he did but this could take me a while…”  
“How long is a while?! Hours?!”  
“…try days, maybe weeks?”  
“Are you kidding me?!”  
“No, I’m not…I’m sorry…Tyler knows his stuff, and I doubt he would make this something easy…”  
“My son is 16 years old! He isn’t a professional!”  
“…Trust me, a year and a half more…and the FBI would be knocking on your door to have him and his skills…”  
“I’m at a loss of what to do, I have not a clue what else could give us answers”  
“Did he have something he would always carry around? Like an electronic or something?”  
“No…but he had notebooks…let me go find them!”


	8. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 5*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FRENS!!! okay, i'm an antsy piece of crap so you guys get the Friday extra, Today <3  
> Just so you know the MCR part was already in here before today's events so shit, look at me seeing into the future! hehe
> 
> and this Extra has a Key! and a Picture! AHHH! hehe I hope you guys enjoy and are having a great day/afternoon/night Frens! <3 A Chapter update will be Saturday or Sunday <3  
> Stay Strong and Take Care <3
> 
> Key:
> 
> Italic ~ What Tyler wrote on the computer  
> Italic and Bold ~ Tyler's voice (Programmed into the computer)

“Have you cracked his computer yet?”  
“Not yet, did you check his notebooks?”  
“Yes, and it’s…confusing to say the least, one of the notebooks at least, the other ones are like school work and such…”  
“Are there a lot of 0’s and 1’s in the confusing one?”  
“Yeah, how did you know?”  
“Binary code, let me see it…”  
“Here…”  
“…I think I got it…”  
  
_Welcome to the Game of chance and fortune, make a mistake and the system will fail_

"…Tyler what the hell were you doing?”  
  
“What is happening?”  
  
“Your son put a game for the people who try to hack his laptop, if we mess up the whole memory will be erased and the laptop will crash…well, will crash to us, only the person who knows the true password AKA Tyler can get it restored and get it running again…but that’s a onetime thing. I fail the game, there is only one more chance to get the password before this laptop…becomes nothing more than an object taking up space…”  
  
“Oh lord Tyler…okay, what is the game?”  
  
“I’m not sure…I have to play it…”  
  
  
_I don't wanna be ______  
_I want to be ________ to_  
  
  
"Tyler wants us to play…hangman? …You have an idea of what the words are? It’s not regular hang man, you have to guess the whole word and it looks like we only have 4 tries before it moves on to the next question…”  
  
“I honestly don’t have a clue…”  
  
“I can press skip but, I’m not sure what that’s going to do to the computer…”  
  
“Tyler, what are you hiding? What’s going on?”  
  
“I’m pressing skip…”  
  
**_Fair enough, what about…_**  
_Does it bother anyone else_  
_That someone else has ____ _____

"Tyler, what is this? I don’t know what this is…”

“Oh lord Tyler, my little boy…why?”

“Mrs. Joseph, was there anything he would say all the time? Like a phrase or a word? Anything I could guess? The skip button is still there…but we only have three tries this time”

“No…I just know that within the past year he got really interested in Trees and Parks and stuff…Forests too…”

“Damn, that leads us nowhere…ah this is going to kill us but, I have to skip this…”

“Tyler, make this easy on us…”

_**Why are you on my computer? Do you enjoy losing?** **Anyways, here…**_  
_I don't understand why everything I ______  
_Takes a different ____ when I squint my eyes_

"What the hell is this Tyler? Well…two tries…”

“Adore and Form…Trust me on this…”

“Okay….”

**_Wow! You finally tried! And got it correct, let’s keep the game going! How about…_ **  
_And your _________ make it look a little not right…_

"Uh? Eyes?”

“Eyelashes”

“Okay…”

**_Correct again, let’s try one more time, you get this, you win the game! Let’s see…_ **  
_Down in the _______

_We'll sing a _______

_Hands held ______,_

_We'll be on _____

_Singing songs that ______ wrote_

"Tyler what the actual hell, the other ones were one or two lines…this is excessive…why is he doing this? And we only have one guess…so we need to get all of these right…”

“Tyler…okay I know this…he…he made a poem that went like this…he only said it to me once…what was this part…I know…I think I know it…”

“Well I hope so Mrs. Joseph…messing up can be dire…”

“Okay it’s… Forest, Chorus, Tighter, Fire, Somebody…wait…I’m…I’m…I’m not sure…hold on…Tyler…okay go with it, that’s all I can think of…”

“Okay, let’s see”

 _Close, but no cigar…It’s Forest, Chorus, Higher, Fire, Nobody… **You have one more try…before this laptop becomes a mass sitting in front of you, an empty shell…**_ ”

“Tyler! My little boy! I’m sorry!”

“Calm Down, Mrs. Joseph…we have one more try…”

 _And through it all_  
_How could you cry for me?_  
_Cause I don't feel bad about it._  
_So shut your eyes,_  
_Kiss me goodbye,_  
_And _____._  
_Just ______  
_The hardest part's the awful things that I've seen_

"What? What is this?!”

“God…help us…please…”

_**…Do you give up?**  
Yes or No?_

"Tyler you fucking cunt…I have to click yes, there is a timer that only gives us another 40 seconds on this…we don’t know it…”

“My little boy…I’m sorry…”

“Yes, we give up Tyler….”

**_…And I can't... I can't ever wake up…_ **

“Tyler…”  
  
__ _ _ _, Less than Three…_

"What the actual fuck Tyler, four letters are less than three?”

“Guess something, please!”

“H E L L”

**_Sleep…_ **

“TYLER!”

“…This computer is dead…all of its info is erased and I’m almost positive he had it transferred over to another computer…but nothing more we can do here…I’m sorry Mrs. Joseph…”

“…I will wake you up Tyler…I’m going to try…”

[](http://s1152.photobucket.com/user/PoisonIvyBlossom/media/JoJo%20Less%20Than%20Three_zpsyy2rf5a6.jpg.html)


	9. Seen a vision of perfect grace - airbrushed and lifeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> swapping your love for hate
> 
> "Somewhere lurking, in our wordless nights, the truest pain that binds us together  
> When we met each other, it begun our loneliness..." ~ Tyler Joseph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Frens!!! I know this chapter is a few hours late! I experienced some technical difficulties on only my laptop, thanks to Xfinity dude messing with the wires outside my house -.-' anyways! Good Vibes Frens!  
> Enjoy this Chapter <3  
> I hope you all are having an amazing time in which ever part of the world you are in and that you are all trying to stay safe and take care <3  
> and as always, the key
> 
> Bold and Italic ~ Memory/Flashback  
> Italic ~ Tyler's Inner voice/Conscience/Thoughts  
> Italic and Underlined ~ Unnamed/Undisclosed Voice  
> Bold, Italic, Underline ~ Josh's words told in memories/flashbacks

Tyler POV

_“ **Tyler, what are you looking at?”**_   
**_“Uh, Parks and Forests and…stuff like that”_ **   
**_“Oh! Any parks around here? I would love to go to one with my oldest son, eventually”_ **   
**_“Uh…yeah I guess, Fairmount Park…I really like that park…I don’t think I’ve ever been there, I think I would like that park…”_ **   
**_“And why is that Tyler?”_ **   
**_“I’m not sure…it might be the trees and how still and quiet it seems…I have a feeling it would bring me closer to God…”_ **   
**_“That park sound familiar to me…Tyler where is…”_ **

_Mom! It’s right here! Please listen!_   
  


_You know better than that, actually_

_ The trees will speak to you…you just have to listen… _

**_“Tyler, my little nature boy. You are such an amazing gift to this world, my proper little young man…I love you, Son”_ **

_Don’t get attached…love is always ripped away by the seams…_

**_ “…you will always be mine and I will love and protect you for as long as I can. No one else in the world will ever hurt you, because I am here for you”  
“You mean nothing in this world and I am the only thing in this world that cares about you and keeps you safe” _ **

_You never really knew the difference between a killer and a savior…_

“Ty, could you play on the ukulele for me and sing?” JoJo asked me shyly as he peeked his head into my room. I had just finished taking a shower and I was sitting on my bed, which JoJo changed the bedding for. DeeDee was nestled in between my legs which I had crossed kind of like a pretzel. DeeDee was the cutest and he was sweetest, of course he was a kitten and playfully nibbled on my fingers but his personality reminded me more of a dog, where ever I walked inside of my room, he followed. He also would jump to hang off of my torso chain for a second or two before falling down. He and JoJo are the only things I need to keep myself happy. DeeDee was kind of like me and JoJo’s little furry son. He was really small; I even believe him to be a munchkin cat. He was the smallest brown and gray fluff ball I had ever seen, and his meow was the tiniest, I internally died of cuteness overload every time he meowed.  
“Uh…yeah of course I could, what song? Do you…uh…want me to sing anything?” I asked shyly trying to move Jordie away from my legs but his tiny meow or whine made me put him back down. JoJo blushed as he entered my room. He sat down in my bed and handed me the ukulele, shrugging his shoulders.  
“I don’t know Ty, surprise me…” he said with a small grin on his face as he picked up DeeDee to pet and play with him. I nodded my head and started playing Landslide. I looked down at my ukulele and didn’t move my eyes from there as I played.  
  
“I took my love and took it down  
I climbed a mountain, I turned around  
And I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill  
'til a landslide brought it down

 

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?  
Can the child within my heart rise above?  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

 

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I've  
Built my life around you  
Time makes you bolder  
Even children get older  
And I'm getting older, too

  
I'm getting older, too

 

I took my love and took it down  
I climbed a mountain, I turned around  
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hill  
The landslide brought it down  
The landslide brought it down”

 

After I finished playing I looked up at JoJo and his eyes looked at me a little strangely. I’m not sure what to call it honestly…the best I could describe it was a confused scowl. As if I had said or done something wrong.  
“Ty, where did you learn that song?” he asked as he took my ukulele away, I’m not sure if he is JoJo or Joshua at this moment, so I did start gaining a bit of hesitation and fear in my voice.  
“Nowhere special, I heard it on the radio a few times a few years ago”  
“How many years?”  
“Maybe six or seven years ago? I’m not sure…did…did…did I sing it wrong?” I asked starting to feel my hands and feet, go numb. I could feel internal shaking and a breath of freezing air on the back of my neck.  
“…No, you didn’t…Ty, go cook me something”  
“…okay, you would need to take my chain off…”  
“I know what the fuck I have to do” Joshua responded putting DeeDee on the floor  
“…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” I tried to explain, but Joshua slap me across my face, I bit my tongue and I tasted the slight metallic taste in my mouth.  
“Shut the fuck up” Joshua spoke simply after slapping me, I’m not going to lie and say that I expected this reaction. I just sung and played a song, I thought it was a nice song, I didn’t do anything, I was trying to make JoJo happy but Joshua is now here…why did JoJo leave me?  
“fuck it, I’m not unchaining you. You stay here, I’m going to deal with you later” Joshua said taking the ukulele and DeeDee with him. I wanted to object to him taking DeeDee but I knew better than to do that with Joshua. I don’t know why that song brought him out…I wasn’t trying to make him come out and be mad…I never want him to come and I especially never want him to be mad…what did I do?

“Wake the fuck up, cunt face. I’m hungry” Joshua came back into my room after what felt like a few minutes but according to my alarm clock, was five hours. It was 12am and I’m not sure why he is hungry at this time in the morning.  
“…okay…what would you like me to make you” I yawned a bit as I sat up in my bed, yawning and rubbing my eyes with my palms.  
“The fuck should I know bitch, surprise me and don’t make anything shitty” Joshua said unlocking the lock for my chain. It would really help if he could tell me what he wanted, all that I cooked were things in cookbooks that were laying around here and…

 

**_“Tyler, you know you cook really well! I’m actually really happy you like to cook! It takes a bit of the daily burden from me, you will make a fine husband one day”_ **

_Not like this...not like this…_

“What are you making me, fuck face?” Joshua leered at me from the dining room table.  
“I…I thought…” I said a little dismayed, I thought he wanted us to eat together, but I guess it’s only for him.  
“You thought what? Did you really think I was going to let you eat again? You know I like my fuck toys a little smaller, that way I get to toss you around at my own free will” he sneered at me.  
“…Yes…I know…I uh…I’m…”  
“Well you are boiling water, so what the fuck are you making?”  
“I’m…” I started feeling my heart beat a little faster than usually and my chest started to tighten up…Joshua doesn’t appreciate me…he doesn’t love me; he doesn’t care for me. I am not his fuck toy…I’m his doormat…his punching bag…his cum rag if you want to go that far to say…JoJo is the one who cares for me and my happiness and makes sure I am okay, that I am comfortable and taken care of, the one that calms all my fears when I’m crying, just like a scared little boy…I just want JoJo, because he makes me feel safe, happy, untainted, invincible…untouchable.

I heard Joshua get up from the table, and immediately turned my face towards him, I didn’t want him to hurt me…  
He came over very calmly and looked into the pot of boiling water.  
“I’m going to ask you again Ty, what are you making?” he said in a calm voice but I picked up the menacing undertone.  
“Pa…Pa…Pasta…Prim..Primavera with Smoked Gouda…” I stuttered, I didn’t like that he was only a few inches away from me, and we were in a kitchen with knives…Joshua never hurt me with a knife, but I could only imagine it could cross his mind right now…  
“Oh, okay…that’s nice…” he said walking away, but he only took a few steps before he very calmly demanded for me to take off my boxers. I’m not sure why he would want me to be fully naked in the kitchen, I would only assume he wanted to ravish and break my body again, but I guess on slightly more consensual terms?  
“Ty, are you listening to me?” he asked, I looked at him and his eyes demanded me to listen to him and his voice was hefty with intimidation.  
“Yes…I am…I am listening” I said looking to my right side, towards the ground as took off my boxers. The light grey item of clothing dropped and as I went to pick them off the ground, DeeDee came into the kitchen, distracting me from pick it up. I saw him and smiled slightly, he was my little furball of cuteness and he reminded me of JoJo. Joshua walked over to Jordie and picked him up Joshua walked closer to me. At that moment I snapped back to reality slightly…JoJo wasn’t here, Joshua was…and I’m not sure what he wanted to do with Jordie.  
“Ty, this is a really cute cat you know…I like him” Joshua spoke effortlessly, petting DeeDee  
“Yeah…I like him too…” I said looking at him with anxiety in my voice  
“Ty, you think Jordie would look good with wet fur?”  
“…No…Jordie wouldn’t like that…he is a cat and cats don’t like water…” I was really concerned for Jordie but I don’t think there is anything I can do  
“Oh? Too bad” Joshua spoke with malice as he began to move Jordie over the boiling pot of water  
“NO!” I yelled.

I tackled Joshua to the ground and DeeDee fell with him as well. As soon as well all fell to the ground DeeDee ran away to another place in the house.  
“You fucking cunt! I fucking hate you!” Joshua yelled as he pushed me off of him. He got up quickly but regained some of his composer.  
“Okay Ty…you did that so I guess that’s okay, just get up for me” I heard him messing around in a drawer and I’m not sure which drawer it was. As I got up I felt scolding water being thrown on me. A few drops of water landed on the back of my neck, most of the drops landed on my back, which was mostly healed from the belt slashes.  
“Fuck!” I screamed as I coward away from him. I hide in the corner of the kitchen furthest away from him. he was using a spoon to throw water from the pot on me.  
“Aw Ty, use your nice word for me…I couldn’t burn that pussy, so imma burn the one running away from me” he said calmly, he stirred the water. I couldn’t believe that he was doing this to me, I really just wanted to make him food and go to sleep.  
“Okay Ty, just let me throw one more spoonful of water on you and you can continue cooking for me” he smirked at me. Did I really have a choice? If I ran away he could throw the whole pot on me…I just…I have to listen…  
I began to walk towards him with my eyes squinted in fear, I just wanted him to hurry up so I could finish his food.  
“Aw, don’t be scared Ty…tell you what, you keep cooking and I watch you from the table” he said as I heard the spoon clink on the counter.  
“Oh…okay” I spoke with suspicion of his action. He indeed did go to the table and watched me cook. What game is he playing at?

“Can I go to my room until the sauce thickens…it will only be a few minutes…” I spoke with unease, looking at Joshua.  
“Yeah, go ahead…I’m not stopping you, but you stay naked, don’t put anything on” he uttered in a seemingly calm manner. He indeed did watch me cook for him, but I was naked…I’m not sure what the purpose of me cooking naked was. I nodded my head and made my way back to my room. DeeDee was sleeping in a little ball in the center of my bed, he was the absolute cutest...

“ _Rosary_ ” the dull voice came back, I looked around me and there was nothing around me, where is this voice coming from? Even sometimes in my dreams I could hear it…  
“ _Notebook, Notebook_ ” The dull whisper was telling me about…my notebook?

**_“God…God…Where are you?”  
“Tyler, God is everywhere”_ **

_God, where are you? I am asking you now where you are because sometime I think you forgot about me when Joshua is here…every time Joshua is here…I think you have forgotten about me...God I’m sorry for all the things I knew…all the things I said…all the things I didn’t say…God, I just wanted to…_

“ _Notebook, Notebook_ ” the dull whisper interrupted

“the tallies” I whispered to myself, it was technically a new day so I should put a tally in my notebook.  
I found my notebook and added a new tally. It was day 1,861. That doesn’t sound like a long time, right?

**_“My little Tyler baby, you know there is a simpler way of adding than to make tally marks, right?”  
“I know Mama, but I like them, they are all together, held together by one!” _** I spoke with such joyful glee. I’m not sure at what age this was but I would assume at six or seven. I was such a carefree spirit. I made sense in my own little way, and that’s all that matter to the people around me…well should have mattered anyways… _  
**“Breaking News, another child whom was abducted was found mur…”**_ my mother turned off the TV, at the time I couldn’t fathom why she would turn off the TV, but in retrospect…I could only assume it was to protect me…

“ _Rosary_ ” the whisper came back.  
In all honestly, the rosary JoJo brought me was beautiful. The beads were this aqua blue with little pink or purple swirls in them and the cross with Jesus on it, it was simply beautiful…but I’m not sure why I wanted one? They are pretty, I will admit…but…

“ _Rosary_ ”  
why is this whisper telling me about the rosary?

“Ty, if my food burns I will fuck you up!” I heard speak loudly from the kitchen. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts.

“…Did you like the food?”  
“Yeah, it was good…”  
“…I’m…glad you liked it”  
“yeah…”  
“Can…I…I…put my underwear back on?”  
“No…I want to look at you”  
“W…Why?”  
“What? I can’t look at you or something?”  
“Of…Of…course you can…but…why?”  
“Sometimes I need to look at a soul that is ethereal to see if it remains that way or it has changed…”  
“…oh?”  
“Yeah…” he seemed...grim…his voice was seemingly chilly…who in the hell is speaking? Joshua or JoJo?  
“…what happens if the soul has changed…?”  
“…I don’t know…it’s never gotten that far, honestly…”  
“…oh…”  
“Ty, go to bed…I’m going to clean up here…”  
I nodded my head deeply and began to walk my way back towards my room and I then heard it, I heard him, he mumbled to himself as I left the kitchen...

“I used to think I knew why the trees wouldn’t speak…but…now I'm not so sure…”


	10. Aerials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 6*
> 
> I will put a Key for the Codes used because I know that the picture of the codes might not show on everyone's devices <3  
> (Also Tyler's mom in this Extra uses homophobic slurs and talks negatively about a trans character, so warning for that) 
> 
> Italic and Bold ~ Dispatch
> 
> 10-97 ~ Juvenal  
> 10-102 ~ Missing person  
> 10-69 ~ Kidnapping  
> 10-73 ~ Rape  
> 10-67 ~ Extra Patrol  
> 10-79 ~ Notify Coroner  
> 10-109D ~ PT Condition is Dead  
> 10-4 ~ Acknowledgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRENS!! hehe Hey all of you magnificent folk! I said i would give you guys an extra, and here it is! This Extra is longer than the other extras because I am crammed a lot of information in. The reason for all this information is because i actually wanted to do, two extras this week but depression and anxiety came to rear it's ugly head this week, but I'm doing WAY better now <3
> 
> Also to my new readers, Extras are exactly that! They are extras, they add to the fic. This fic only has 4 offical chapters so far (Tomorrow or Sunday will be 5 Chapters)  
> The extras are pretty much backstory to the events leading up to the fic told by various characters and POV's, because I felt that there were a lot of things that weren't answered when the fic begun and wouldn't necessarily be answered as the fic progressed. However the extras are very important because the previous extras have small (maybe even big, in the future) appearances in the offical chapters.  
> The Extras and the Chapters work together to bring you a more in-depth and profound understanding the fic as a whole, rather than just chapter by chapter  
> (The POV in extras are of minor characters so if they are not named, it's okay. The only Extra to shy away from this was the first one where it was in the 3rd person and you guys were looking in at a chat conversation between Tyler and Josh and Tyler's thoughts show a bit at the end)
> 
> Anyways! I hope you all are having an AMAZING time in which ever part of the world you may be in!  
> And as always!  
> Stay Strong and Take Care, Frens <3

“Mrs. Joseph, is there anything that could help with trying to locate your son? Anything at all, any detail, or indication of where he would be?”  
  
“No, I have not a clue. My little Tyler is a good boy, he would never run away and he would never let me not know where he was. He always told me, called me, texted me, all of that! My son would never leave me!”  
  
“Okay, Calm down Mrs. Joseph…I just would like to get an idea of where he could have been…okay so let’s start with where he last said he would be?”  
  
“He called me, he said he was at school and he was going to catch a bus to The Gallery to meet a friend and he would then come here and then go to his friend’s Brandon’s house or just straight to Brandon’s house…that’s all I know”  
  
“Okay, Do you recall what time that could have been?”  
  
“9:15 or 9:30, he wasn’t at school for too long”  
  
“Okay, how long does a bus ride to the gallery take?”  
  
“30 or 40 minutes, depending on traffic”  
  
“okay, that sounds about right because eye witness accounts describe seeing him at or around 10am, do you know what friend he was going to meet there? A name? a nickname? Anything?”  
  
“No, he just said a friend…I’m sorry it slipped my mind to ask, he usually hangs out with Brandon Miranda…Tyler sometimes hangs out with Brandon’s cousins Chris Rodriguez and Kairi Rodriguez…and that’s all I can think of…Tyler didn’t really have many friends. He got bullied a lot for being very quiet and soft-spoken”  
  
“Okay we’ll send officers to interview Brandon, Chris, and Kairi…Anyways, did Tyler have a specific person who would bully him?”  
  
“No, it wasn’t really a bully…he was more or so teased a lot for those things…they would call him gay, and other things for being the way he is”  
  
“Other things?”  
  
“Tyler was a little…Tyler has feminine qualities, he likes to cook, clean, sew, he is very empathetic, very sensitive to insults and disappointment, very…scared of people, that’s the reason he had very little friends…”  
  
“but what other things would they call him?”  
  
“They…they would call Tyler…a faggot, cock sucker, a bitch, a chick in a guy’s body…things like that…”  
  
“Wow, that’s…deep…Do you think Tyler is actually…”  
  
“No! My son has a healthy interest in women for his age…My son is not gay, he would just be a very good husband to a WOMAN, one day”  
  
“Mrs. Joseph…I know your family is very religious but…”  
  
“No…my son. Is. Not. Gay. He knows that God loves everyone but the believers of our lord and savior should ALWAYS be with their opposite sex….”  
  
“Well then Mrs. Joseph…did Tyler have any girlfriends that could help us?”  
  
“…No, but he is Kairi were really cozy together…she was going through a phase…Tyler told me often that she only liked girls, but Tyler was changing that, they were always together and very close I might add”  
  
“What about Chris, how close was your son to him?”  
  
“They were friends, that’s it! Chris anyways is another confused soul…he wants to become a woman and change his name to Cynthia…”  
  
“I see, what about Brandon?”  
  
“Just friends, Brandon is a grade level higher than Tyler. Brandon took Tyler under his wing because of how quiet and soft-spoken my baby is…Brandon is known for being very flirtatious with females and I think at times tried to get Tyler to do the same, but because Tyler is a good boy of God, he didn’t flirt with anyone”  
  
“…Okay, so back to The Gallery…uh, eye witnesses said he didn’t seem fearful when he was there…if it’s not Brandon, Chris, or Kairi…do you have any idea who else could have met him there?”  
  
“No, My Tyler didn’t have many friends like I told you…”  
  
“Did he spend a lot of time online?”  
  
“Not online…he fixed computers and stuff for fun and sometimes charged people, he always loved computers…I mean…”  
  
“Eye witnesses did see a person with a gray pullover hoodie, black pants and sneakers near him, almost walking with him, they appeared to be male…do you know who that could have been?”  
  
“Congratulations officer you just described the attire of every male in Ohio older than 12”  
  
“…Well Mrs. Joseph…is there any other detail that could help us in this investigation?”  
  
“No…not really…I’m sorry, I’m just really rattled that no one can find my son or have heard from him…I’m not sure what else I could say…I mean there isn’t much else…I’m just scared and worried about my son…”  
  
“Understandable…if you think of anything, please don’t hesitate to come down to the station and let us know”  
  
“…wait…He did…he recently did become interested in parks and such”  
  
“Parks? Do you know why that is?”  
  
“He…well his spiritual life moved more into nature based faith, I am guessing…that’s fine though”  
  
“Any parks in particular?”  
  
“A few…he talked about a lot of parks…”  
  
“Any one in particular he talked about a little more than the others?”  
  
“…Fairmount”  
  
“…Fairmount park?...Oh Good Lord…”  
  
“My Baby talked about a lot of parks, it doesn’t mean he has been abducted by a killer or anything!”  
  
“We aren’t saying he was…we just need to check Fairmount Park to see if there is anything there that could…indicate where he is…”  
  
“Okay…Tyler is fine…I know he is…”  
  
“We will try to locate him, Mrs. Joseph…Uh…Dispatch, 10-97 Tyler Joseph 10-102 is now a possible 10-69 and possibly a 10-73. Dispatch send officers to the homes of Brandon Miranda, Chris Rodriguez, Kairi Rodriguez. Lastly 10-67 Fairmount Park, 10-79 for a possible 10-109D”  
  
_“ **10-4"**_  
  
“What was all that officer?”  
  
“…We’re trying to find your son, we are trying everything we can to find him…”

[](http://s1152.photobucket.com/user/PoisonIvyBlossom/media/Police%20code_zpstajwsqt1.jpg.html)


	11. The Hand That Feeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 7*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Frens! I'm so sorry i didn't have a chapter for you guys Saturday or Sunday like i usually do, i'm still trying to get better from my sharp ups and downs of my mental health <3 I hope you all are having an amazing time in which ever part of the world you may be in <3
> 
> (But yes i do have an extra for you guys because a part of this extra was actually supposed to be part of the chapter for the Saturday/Sunday that just passed, but i have gone against it and made it an extra <3)
> 
> I'm playing catch up to redo the missed chapter and the chapter i am supposed to put up Saturday or Sunday, so let's see how this goes Frens! <3 hehe and as always  
> Stay Strong and Take Care, Frens! <3 <3

“Brandon Rodriguez?”

“Yeah?”

“We are here for…”

“Tyler?”

“Yes…”

“Okay I’ll tell you what I know but please try to find him, he is my best friend…he reminded me a lot of my cousins so that’s why I protected him…I knew he liked guys but that was okay, ya know?”

“Oh? Okay well what do you now?”

“Uh…not much as of now, but maybe a few months to a year ago, he got really interested in parks and stuff, so because I had a feeling about this type of stuff happening…I recorded our phone call conversations after a while. It’s may sound stupid but I kind of felt it, that he would pop up missing sooner or later, ya know?”

“Yeah, do you have the recordings with you?”

“Not all of them…but like two or three of them, yes. The other ones were pretty bland and I deleted them, but the one I can pick out very quickly in my head is upstairs in my room. I had to do old school tape recorder style but, I got it, right?”

“Yeah, so let’s go hear this recording”

“Okay whatever I said in the recordings, won’t be held against me right? You like…school business?”

“School Business?”

“I used to ask Tyler to fix my grades in the grading system in school”

“oh, naw we have to find Tyler and that’s very petty…we aren’t even worried about that, I used to do the same, with my friends honestly”

“Okay cool, well then come upstairs”

 

 

“…Tyler man, that’s fucking weird…why the hell are you looking at those pictures…the old fucking perverted bastard is a monster and you are giving him what he wants, attention”

“You think the Fairmount Park killer is an old man?”

“Well I guess, don’t dirty old men lure little kids to the park to molest and rape them and shit?”

“I mean…statistically speaking, most victims of sexually violent crimes know their attackers…how do we know he isn’t like our age?”

“Because these attacks have been happening since we were like in elementary school, I doubt a fucking teenager has been killing since they were in grade school”

“Well I mean…that’s true…then what could this old guy be? Like his profession?”

“I’m not sure man, maybe a pediatrician?”

“Yeah, that makes sense…”

“Are you still looking at those pictures?”

“Yeah…”

“Dude, why? Those pictures are sick…little boys were raped and mangled and you are looking at it”

“I’m looking at them because I’m trying to figure out certain things”

“Like?”

“Like, the progression of kills. The first boy, whom has my name, he was hit repeatedly in the head. But a few kills later, the boy looked to have just tripped and fell and hit his head on a rock. The cut the rock made didn’t kill him, the pressure caused by brain swelling did. A few kills later, this kids neck of snapped, not like assassin type of snap, I’m talking about shaken baby type of snap…I’m not sure if this guy is getting better at killing or he is trying to do something that if they hesitate he scares them or intimidates them and tries to rough them up, but they just end up dying…maybe he is like a really strong muscular old guy?”

“He killed a baby?”

“No, like…if you were to grab me by the arms and shake me, it would be a forwards and back motion, wouldn’t it be?”

“Yeah”

“That’s what he did, usually babies and toddlers have weak neck muscles so when they are violently shook, their necks snaps, and their brains are depleted of oxygen and basically the baby’s brain suffocates to death, that’s why it’s called that. The kills of the kids that are from 7 to 10, all have this attribute, they were shaken so violently and their necks snapped, but that kind of whiplash it would take to do that in a child in those ages would be the whiplash sustained at maybe a 45+ mile per hours collision…it doesn’t make sense…”

“Tyler, we are talking about an old muscular guy who is way bigger than these kids, I don’t think it would be that hard to shake snap a kids neck at those ages, especially boys. A lot of you guys aren’t so lucky to start growing…”

“you guys?”

“Tyler, you are 15 and you still look like a little kid, you can’t grow facial hair and you are still small and wimpy looking, if I took you and shook you, your neck would snap too…it’s not that hard to snap the necks of people whom are smaller than you”

“Good point, but my neck muscles are developed…I’m still looking for more pictures, how he killed the other kids…”

“Tyler, I’m starting to think you are obsessed with this bastard”

“I’m not, but I think there is some bigger things that are missing”

“like?”

“for example, 11 to 15 or 16 year olds, our neck muscles are well developed almost to the extent of adults, if not already there…he would have had to change his method of killing to accommodate his aging victims, also on the topic of his victims ages…they progress in a linear pattern. After Tyler Black, the victims just got older. I have counted 43 kids after Tyler Black so far, and they never changed…it was never like he killed an 8 year old and went to a 4 or a 5 year old…I think he is aging with his victims…”

“Okay Criminal Minds, you are profiling this bastard…what else are you going to do?”

“No, listen…that’s an important detail, with Tyler Black, that’s 44 kids up until the age of 10, I’m still missing five more year’s worth of pictures and details, that I still haven’t seen yet…what if not all children are endanger, his victims have always been male and once an age has passed, he will not return to that age to prey…there is something really important behind this…I want to figure it out”

“whatever man, as long as you hack into the school’s grading system and change my grades before midnight, that’s all I care about”

“Sure, I can do that in two minutes…but the Fairmont Park killer…I wonder what’s going on in his brain”

“I have a thought it’s, cute little boy, let me fuck you and kill you in the park”

“Brandon…this is serious man…”

“What is serious is that you need to change my grades from C’s to B’s”

“Okay…I guess”

 

 

“That’s all…”

“Brandon question, how did he see the pictures and see all these details, we never released pictures to the public”

“Oh, I always thought they were out to the public”

“No, they aren’t and they won’t ever be till after we catch him”

“aye, I see…well, Tyler hacked computers for fun, he probably got into the Ohio State Police Department’s main computer, hacked the mainframe and…got ahold of everything…”

“Damn…okay that makes sense, but how didn’t he ever get caught?”

“Tyler was just that damn good at everything he did and put his mind to”

“Ah…okay then, well I’ll…do what I can with this information, thank you Brandon…if you think of anything else don’t hesitate to contact us, and we will be in touch if we find anything we can tell you”

“Thanks man, take care and please try your best to find Tyler…I still have hope that he is around…”

“No problem, and we will try out best, I promise you that…”


	12. Repetition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching me is like watching the fire  
> Take your eyes from you
> 
> (This chapter is non-con graphic at times, it's consensual smutty for a good part of it i think it's graphic but so graphically good! Also I'm just gonna let it be known, you are probably going to hate Tyler's Mom in this chapter...just leaving that there)
> 
> "No matter how painful the kisses are, I still tremble with joy  
> I'm happy I met you" ~ Tyler Joseph
> 
> Key to Chapter
> 
> Bold ~ Flashback Memory  
> Italic ~ Antagonistic/ Guiding Voice  
> Bold and Italic ~ Tyler's Inner Thoughts/Mental Response  
> Bold, Italic, Underlined ~ Has already been said in past chapters or extras or has been Repeated often (Repetition)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRENS!!! The weight for the LONG overdue chapter, IS OVER!!! hehe so this chapter is LONG! it's over 4,000 BUT! i think it's well worth it because i had to compensate because i felt really bad about saying Saturday or Sunday and my depression and anxiety had to rear it's ugly heads when I owed you guys a chapter, an it's Thursday today! Forgive me Frens! 
> 
> Anyways! This chapter is probably going to be interesting because i am going to try to add a song in the beginning of the chapter and then in the middle so if it looks jacked up, please bare with me! <3  
> Also you will notice that some flashbacks DO NOT follow the key in the summery because I think if i was reading almost a page of bold font...i would cry, so i just did spacing to indicate longer flashbacks but it doesn't have anything special done to the font in those cases
> 
> (For the 2nd song if you can access it, the first few seconds are an interview, i'm sorry that i could upload the clean version, soundcloud took it down is only letting me use this one -.-' but anywho! Good Vibes Friends! <3 )
> 
> Anyways I hope you all are having an amazing time in which ever part of the world you may be in! <3 And as always!  
> Take Care and Stay Safe, Frens <3

Tyler’s POV 

I know I spoke about the pain and emptiness, I know I spoke about the misery and depression that I felt with Joshua, but…there are times when JoJo and I would have beautiful moments. Moments of utter happiness and euphoria. I felt safe, I felt peaceful, I felt…invincible, like nothing could touch me and like I was floating above the world. Maybe it was because this is the guy I truly love? The guy I wanted to spend all my time with…regardless of the bad, this is the person I wanted with me…forever…  
  
_You know forever is just until tonight…_

 “Tyler, I love you. I love you so much, I want you so badly, you mean the world to me” JoJo would tell me between deeply passionate kisses, he was pushing me onto his bed. JoJo would never in a million years, make love to me in my bed…that was the place where Joshua would rip into me and ravish my body into a limp state…JoJo’s bed was a place of peace and a place where our souls could connect, just for a little while, at least…  
“I love you too, please…I want you badly too, just…be careful, I’m still a little sore…” I said feeling my blood rush inside of me, numbing me slightly from my wounds. It’s day 1,867 and Joshua ravished my body again, 2 days ago. I was bleeding, I was bruised, I was broken…again. It felt like I was moments away from death, my soul and my body being taken and turned against me. I would hate to say I enjoyed it, because I didn’t…my body just reacted in a way that I didn’t want it to. I got hard, I felt the blood rush, the pulsation and the feelings of pleasure when he rammed himself in and out behind me as he stroked me. I could feel blood become Joshua’s lubrication for me. It felt like a saw and sandpaper was sanding away at my insides, slicing through me, my body being taken and shook with such violence and force that I just kind of went with the motions. He stroked me with the same vigor as he ripped in and out of me. That was also painful, so very painful, but…I…I…I liked it? I shouldn’t be thinking of Joshua as I have this beautiful moment with JoJo. Joshua doesn’t deserve me, he is my abuser…Joshua is…  
  
Joshua is hurting me, Joshua is killing me  
  
“Don’t worry Ty, I will try my best to be careful, I would never want to hurt you on purpose” He whispered into my left ear as he took off my boxers, he was being a little rough but I think it’s because he is anticipating me and I should follow. In my head all I could think about how teared apart and raw I was. My soul being ripped in and out of by a monster isn’t very pretty, I must admit…

 **No! Please stop! It hurts! Oh my god, please stop! It hurts so much…OH MY GOD! Stop! Help me! God help me! SOMEBODY HELP ME!**  
Shut the fuck up Ty! No one is going to help you, just take it! You know you LOVE this!  
No! AGHH!...help…help…help me…protect me…please…

_Awe, don’t be so silly, God didn’t put you in this situation…You did…You put yourself here…_

**“I used to think I knew why the trees wouldn’t speak…but…now I'm not so sure…”**

_Trees? Like the Tree that’s tattooed on his arm, you remember that view right?_

**_NO! I DON’T!_ **

_Don’t kid yourself, you know exactly what I’m talking…_

**_STOP IT!_ **

 

“AGHH!! Help! Ahh! Help…” I was in agony; it wasn’t the first time Joshua ripped into me and tore me apart the best way he knew how…I can’t recall the day, the tally I mean, but it was one of my darker days…

**_ My soul was in my point of view, ethereal and omnipotent but…Joshua did something to my soul that pained me very much. I wish I could say what it was, but my soul ever since day 1, was shattered, it was tainted it was…starting to empty… _ **

I…don’t like recalling what happened because it was one of the many times that Joshua was tainting my soul and emptying it’s ethereal nature and tainting it with his darkness and...rage? I’m sure he was telling me something or at least groaning in his own sick pleasure while I suffered, cried, whimpered, plead and begged him to stop. After a while, my body went into shock…I stopped feeling, I was floating above myself and watching this sickening scene, as if an outer body experience or something related. I could only see myself and him thrusting violently behind me. As I hovered about, I look at my face…to say the least, it terrified me beyond anything I had ever seen in my life, or felt in my life…I was defeated, I was afraid, I was broken…I had given up, in some ways…I was gone. I just laid there, in agonizing shock. Then for a moment, Joshua stopped. He reached down towards himself and me, not very sure why…he was done, right? At that moment I saw things through my eyes again and even though I was in shock, I still had some consciousness…I hadn’t totally blacked out. I must have blinked for a split second because when I opened my eyes I saw the Tree…I saw his Tree, the Joshua Tree…then a little lower, his hand and his hand was covered in a deep scarlet liquid…it’s hue was very familiar…it was something that lived inside of me, keeping me alive…well, at least surviving. It was my blood. He put his hand right next to my face, sparing about seven or eight inches. I think in some ways, it was to taunt me, but in other ways to support himself as he continued to ravish me, because he began again. I continued to drift between hovering above myself and Joshua and actually seeing through my actual eyes. It was painful, but…I felt nothing at the same time, I had gone numb from shock…I didn’t know what else to do, my soul was collapsing in on itself and my body was dying and my only guess is that my mind was doing the same…

 

_Ah, so you do remember the tree…How do you feel?_

**_…what do you want?_ **

_I want you to remember, I want you to remember things you have forgotten long ago_

There is no long ago, JoJo, Joshua, and DeeDee are the only things I know…

_Ah nah, I don’t think so…try thinking a little harder_

**_NO! they are all I know! JoJo is mine and DeeDee is mine, we are a family!_ **

_What about Mama?_

**_M-M…Mama?_ **

“Tyler, God is everywhere” My mom said  
“But God loves everyone, right Mama?”  
“Yes, God loves everyone Tyler, why do you ask?”  
“Mama, if God loves everyone then why does God punish people?”  
“Tyler, God doesn’t punish people…”  
“Mama, God punishes everyone”  
“How so, Tyler?”  
“God punishes bad people and good people, all the time. People that survived bad storms lose everything and people who kill other people, get killed of die too, eventually”  
“Tyler, God doesn’t punish people…God tests their faith in him. If the people of the storm can lose everything but still come back strong, that was a test the God gave them and they passed it”  
“And what about the people who kill other people? They are bad, but why don’t they die as the person they are killing, dies?”  
“Well Tyler…I think God does things to people and God…finds a way to bring his little angels back home, early…while the people who sin and kill, will be brought into the underworld in due time…”  
“Mama…”  
“Yes Tyler?”  
“What are sins?”  
“Bad things that God punishes because they are horrible”  
“I know that Mama, but…why are they?”  
“Oh, well killing, stealing, disobeying your parents, basically the 10 commandments”  
“Oh…”  
“What is wrong, Tyler”  
“Is it sin for me to have a boyfriend?”  
“Boyfriend? You been a friend that’s a boy?”  
“No, like a boy I really like”  
“Tyler, that’s a very big sin. You don’t like boys anyways, you like girls”  
“I like girls as friends…”  
“No! You like girls! You DO NOT like boys”  
“I-I’m…I’m sorry Mama…I didn’t mean to upset you…”  
“…Well you did Tyler, anyways wash up. You need to go and do your nightly prayer before bed and you need to pray extra hard to get rid of that sinful thought you just told me about…”  
“Okay Mama…”

 _No, that’s not what I meant for you to remember…Think a little deeper…_  
**_What? What do you mean…?_**

 

“Chirp, Chirp” the birds sang outside my window. I slowly opened my eyes, the sunshine was perfect, it wasn’t violently entering my eyes how it sometimes does. It was gradual and subtle. I looked out of my window and found it to be a very promising day. A beautiful burst of sun throughout the sky and little dips of white fluff thrown in there for good measure. There was something about this day that was strangely inviting to me…kind of with the message “It can’t rain all the time” All last night it had been thundering and raining, it seemed to almost be like the end of the world. But today is so beautiful that you wouldn’t even think that the night before it was disastrous. I kind of woke up in a “playful” mood and all I could think about was... On_The_WillandJo. He is an internet friend that is now my boyfriend and he makes me feel absolutely loved and cared for. Yeah, he is older than me but sometimes seeing him in public and talking to him on chat was always a blessing. He lets me call him JoJo, but he also lets me call him Josh so I am guessing his name is Joshua. To be completely honest, I broke it to him that I had a crush on him not that long ago. I expect him to be disgusted or something…but he actually was really flattered and told me I was really cute. I honestly felt like a puppy when he said that, because little animals are cute and adorable. I told him over audio chat online and I guess he could feel I was pouty so he said “No, being cute is a good thing, in my eyes at least…It means you are tiny and precious and...really nice to look at” I explained to him that he didn’t need to like me back and if we could stop talking if he liked. I was really embarrassed that I wasn’t hot or sexy, just “cute” or “tiny” and “precious”. “No, I love talking to you Ty, but if you want to stop talking that’s up to you…I think you are really cute and you make me happy…I mean…you are kind of my reason to get home as early as I can and jump on my laptop as quickly as I can” he spoke so effortlessly and probably with his smirk of pure seduction. I honestly always thought he was straight, I mean…he never spoke about women, but he didn’t speak about men either. He did have a vibe to him, as if he had sex very often and was really popular with sexual partners. Even as seemingly untouchable as he was, he seemed to like me…we started dating soon after. I honestly never really had a relationship. Me and him would video chat often, when I was at home alone or when my family and I would go to church, I would sneak off into the basement or the bathroom to put on a bit of a show for him. It felt kind of dirty to play with myself in church but JoJo enjoyed it and it made him happy. It drove him crazy when I was in my white button up shirt and dark gray vest. I would wear glasses because, honestly I needed them most of the time but I refused to wear them a lot because they made me look like a big nerd. But he loved when I looked like that. I would ring him up at weird times when I was in church, mostly 4 days out of the week, if not the occasional 6 days out of the week. I used to hate Friday night Bible study…I was never the cool kid, not even in my church. I know that church, we are all supposed to love and accept each other and talk about our passion, for God and Jesus Christ…but I think they all knew there was something “off” about me. I didn’t even try to remotely flirt with any of the girls in church. A lot of the guys did, I didn’t…I mostly kept to myself. But after JoJo and I got together, Friday nights was more like, weekday shows but extended…  
“Mmm Ty, I wish you would tilt that camera a little lower…I want to see all of you, not just your pretty face” he would half say half moan as he got himself warmed up, I felt kind of stupid that I was already going and he was starting to get warmed up.  
“Oh! Sorry” I said stopping my up and down jerking motion. He giggled a bit at my awkwardness, he would smirk and stare at me with eyes of anticipation and excitement. I would think he was really enticed by me but that could also be that he thinks I’m “cute” again, and dammit, I want to be sexy.  
“Is this better?” I asked a little nervously, I was still erect but I was starting to lose a bit of my stiffness because I felt kind of cute again and not sexy.  
“That’s perfect, BabyBoy…continue” he looked at me with his eyes, a little more squinty now but now biting his lower left lip, a bit. Does he like what he sees?  
“ah, okay…umm” I blushed a bit, I was blushing because I actually loved that he called me BabyBoy, it made me feel special and loved.  
“BabyBoy, are you okay? You not going all softy on me now, are you, I’m already hard”  
“Ah no JoJo…it’s I’m…I’m sorry I just want to call you something but I have no idea what to call you…”  
he smirked a bit and he quickly said “you just call me what comes to you naturally, it will come to you”  
“oh okay, so I should keep going?”  
“only if you want, I could just look at you and your body for the rest of the night and uh…what do you call it? Since you don’t say jerk off”  
I giggled a bit and said “HappyPlayTime”  
He chuckled and said “yeah, I could HappyPlayTime, looking at you and how perfect you are so…angelic, so...beautiful, so…ethereal” as he spoke his voice got a bit softer with each word and his motions became faster and steadier. There is no way I’m staying out of this! I want to HappyPlayTime with him. “JoJo…” I spoke softly. His concentration broke off of me and he stopped his hand motions long enough to ask me what was wrong.  
“Do you want me to cum for you on the video”  
JoJo’s usually squinty almond shaped eyes lit up and rounded out a bit “well don’t you always?”  
“Yeah but I mean…in the direction of the camera…like…get the cum on the camera, so you kind of get to enjoy it a little more than just hearing me?”  
“Fuck yes, BabyBoy…you know just what to say to fuck me up…”  
“So is that a yes?” I asked making small precise circles on my head and a little bit under my opening, I could feel a bit of precum oozing out but hopefully he didn’t notice that.  
“Fuck, you got to make me beg?” he asked as he quickened his motions but with a slight hand twist now and they seemed to be with more grip because now his body was even jerking up and down a tiny bit with his hand.  
“Of course I have to make you beg, I can’t always make it easy for you, ya know?”  
“Okay, BabyBoy fucking unload that cum of yours all over that camera, so I can imagine licking it off of you and your hand”  
I blushed and I felt it, I felt my face, chest, and my thighs start to pink and redden up and I felt a bit more of pre-cum oozing out, but I couldn’t be that fast, I had to stall him. I stopped all my motions and pouted.  
“BabyBoy what’s wrong? Please keep going, please”  
“Nothing is wrong…I just want you to cum first so I don’t feel weird when I cum on the camera”  
“Fuck you want me to come on my laptop camera? Shit you are a kinky needy fuck” I blushed a bit but smile. I remembered I have hideous bottom teeth and stopped smiling, I fucking hate them  
“No baby, keep smiling, I love it when you are happy, it turns me on more than any amount of dirty talk ever could” he said squinting a bit and gasping a bit as that up and down got faster and faster.  
“Oh, so you like my smile, Daddy?” what did I just say? Oh lord! No! that sound’s weird, doesn’t it?!  
He bit his lower lip and moaned “Fuck I’m cumming, fuck just open your mouth towards the camera, I want to cum in your pretty fucking mouth and all over your glasses…I just..” I did what I was told but I mean…oh that’s what he meant. He unloaded his cum all over the camera, and I mean it was slathered, I could barely see him.  
“Oh wow! That was a lot! Imagine if I was actually there to take all that in my mouth and taste it” “BabyBoy, don’t tease me like that…fuck…now I’m thinking about it” he wiped off his laptop with his hand and I could imagine that was a gross task but I would pretty much need to do the same in a few minutes but with my phone. “Now it’s your turn BabyBoy…cover me with your cum, make Daddy happy” I blushed immensely, he actually liked that I called him that, I don’t feel so dumb now. “Okay Daddy, I’ll be there soon…”

  
I thought about him this morning because he made me feel as if it was okay and not a sin to play with him on video and on the phone like that. That our love was beautiful and pure…it was nothing to feel guilty about, because we were in love and God is all about love. Though that’s not to say we weren’t a secret. My friends didn’t know about JoJo. Since I was feeling playful, I thought a morning session of HappyPlayTime was needed. I creeped my hands onto my boxers and began rubbing myself till I got harder. I bit my lip a bit and felt my body contract and relax and I pulled myself out of my boxers and began my HappyPlayTime session. I usually never did it in my room because my window, but the sun was so inviting and so loving that I couldn’t resist playing…the sun on my pale skin warmed and hugged me, how I would imagine JoJo would if he woke up next to me. As I jerked myself up and down and rubbed the underside of my head and firmly grasped my shaft as I lost myself, I felt myself leave to another place. A place where everything was right, a place where not even the fires of hell can make you walk away from it. My imagination ran wild with JoJo, maybe across an empty parking lot in the rain or through the forest were we were free, happy, peaceful, serein. I could feel the sun, the birds, and the slight wind whisper to me and my hands and my soft voice whispered back. My whisper from various areas would change, sometimes staying whispers and at times into bold shouts, at the world. That…I’m here, that I’m happy…that I’m NOT sinful…I’m just in love. My eyes rolled to the back of my head head from the talking my hands did, well talking and jerking, they are interchangeable, honestly. My legs tightened and my toes curled up and my grip got firmer, hopefully I can handle it because it feels really good but, I don’t want to cum then be in pain because my grip was too tight. Every muscle from the waist down contracted deeply and so tensely. I opened my eyes to look up at that sky outside of her window and one of my hand slithered up towards my neck and I scratched at my ivory skin before I knew it my muscles tightened up to the point of near killing me then, all of my muscles relaxed and a wave of pleasure had come over me. Just as that wave came ray of sunshine came beaming down from the heavens to illuminate my being. Weirdly enough I moaned out something that I really shouldn’t have… “Daddy! Fuck, Daddy!” After a few moments of basking in the pleasure, I caught my breath and decided that it was time to go on with my usual morning routine. I dragged my limp and languished, frail body out of bed, and then she came in.

“Tyler! Were you playing with yourself!? Who is Daddy?! Where you playing with yourself and thinking of your father?! How sickening!”  
“No! Ew! Mom! No!”  
“Then what were you doing?!”  
“I was playing with myself and I was thinking about…”  
“About. WHO?!”  
“…A guy…”

My mother stood there in disgust and looked in the first drawer off my dresser. She pulled my Bible and tried handing it to me.  
“Take it. Tyler, TAKE IT!”  
“No…Mom…”  
“YOU BETTER TAKE IT AND PRAY!”  
“Mom there is nothing wrong about…” before I could even finish my statement she slapped me across my face with my Bible and yelled at me.  
“TYLER! OUR LORD DOES NOT LIKE HIS FOLLWERS TO BE THAT WAY! IT’S OKAY FOR NON-BELEIVERS! BUT HIS CHILDREN ARE HETEROSEXUAL!”  
I stood there and I was upset, I was hurt, I was angry.

“Mom…Mother…Mama…we are ALL God’s children and they made us ALL in their image, for all we know God is flaming fabulous faggot like I am, and they are probably intersexed!” I let the venom come out of my mouth so effortlessly.  
“Tyler. You will NOT disrespect our lord in this house! You will go and pray and you will go to church today and pray and talk to all the church officials about you sins because this is disgusting!”  
“So if I wasn’t you son, me being gay would be fine?!”  
“Yes it would! Because then I don’t have to worry about your salvation, but since you are MY son, I have to worry about what is going to happen to you in the afterlife!”  
I stood silent for a moment then said “Well…I know one thing is for sure…”  
“Oh?!”  
“If Heaven is full of people like you, I would rather go and be in Hell”  
She stood there stunned and tossed the Bible on my bed  
“Clean yourself up you sinful bastard, We are going to Church in an hour…You aren’t Gay…you are just confused, maybe a demon is inside of you…I need to find an exorcist” she left my room in haste saying.

 

“TyTyBaby, are you okay? You didn’t seem too present when we were making love” JoJo said smiling softly to me, playing in my hair, fluffing it a bit.  
“Yeah…I was…in heaven, I’m sorry if you thought I wasn’t all here…I was…floating”  
“You were an angel?”  
“Aren’t I always an angel?”  
“Yeah, you are…” he kept playing in my hair, leaning down occasionally to kiss my lips, neck, chest, and shoulder softly. I felt…safe, I felt happy, I felt…invincible, I felt…angelic…I was floating…  
“Am I your Angel?”  
“You always Are TyTyBaby…you are my world, you are mine and only mine, you are the most important person in my life and you are my most valued and prized relationship, you are my one and only…You are my BabyBoy”

 

You have to keep digging deeper, but…remember… ** _Don’t get attached…love is always ripped away by the seams…_**


	13. Fall Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 8*
> 
> Key:
> 
> Bold ~ Detective Skylar  
> Italic ~ Detective Silver  
> Italic and Bold ~ Detective Reznor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you magnificent frens! I come to you with not just one, but TWO extras before the Chapter update which is scheduled for Tomorrow or Sunday! Fun times, frens!  
> The 2nd Extra will come to you later and that Extra will have a picture with it that i edited and worked hard on and I hope you guys like it, because i worked hard on it...
> 
> Anyways! Good vibes friends, I hope you all are having a wonderful time in whichever part of the world you may be in and as always!  
> Take Care and Stay Safe, Frens!  
> <3

_“Listen Skylar, we have been searching this placed for days and we have nothing. I don’t think he was brought here…Maybe the Fairmount Park Killer doesn’t have him…maybe it’s just a coincidence?”_  
  
**“Listen Silver, every officer in Ohio knows that a child that randomly goes missing…it’s not a coincidence, especially in the past ten years, they never happen”**  
  
_“Sure but…you said Ohio, have there been others? Like in other cities?”_  
  
**“Yeah…we all know that whoever is the Fairmount Park Killer, they move around so…it’s all of Ohio…any child abduction regardless of age or sex…we suspect it’s him…”**  
  
_“How do we know it’s a man?”_  
  
**“Men are usually the perpetrators of violent crimes, and since these crimes are against children, it reinforces the idea that it’s a man…most women have motherly instincts and would never hurt a child”**  
  
_“I see, do you have a profile on this person?”_  
  
**“Well, the profile has changed so much…we are just kind of waiting for a confession from someone or even someone to come forward with any information”**  
  
_“What about The Gallery? Don’t they have security cameras?”_  
  
**“The Gallery is a rundown broken place, only old people, kids with nothing to do, and kids that are attached to their parents at the hip…go there, needless to say they don’t have working cameras. It was a safe area, nothing like this has ever happened there…”**  
  
_“Oh what about eye witness, could they describe what this guy looked like?”_  
  
**“Silver, are you serious? They gave a very vague clothing description and the guy had his hood up so there is no description of his face, the only one who was close enough to see him, is an old lady that runs the dollar store and she didn’t see him because she has shitty eye sight…it’s like whoever saw and was with Tyler Joseph last…they disappeared, off the face of the earth. They might have Tyler or they might know where he is”**  
  
_“Jeez, sounds like we have our work cut out for us…”_  
  
**“You know Silver, I think Tyler was onto something…you know, he added insight into the case. All the things the Brandon kid had on that tape recorder, it made sense…what if the Fairmount Park Killer only targets little boys and he IS aging with his victims? Tyler was profiling him in some ways and he could be on to something…”**  
  
_“You think Tyler was profiling the Fairmount Park Killer, to try and find him?”_  
  
**“What? No, Tyler is smarter than that. I’m talking about what if Tyler was on to something about the Killer? What if the minds like his that are in the public could help us find the killer?”**  
  
_“Ah, I see what you are getting at…State Police would never go for it…there is a certain amount of time after the murders you have to wait till information can be made public…I think it’s something like 10 or 11 years and only if the police department where the crime was committed agrees to release it, as a whole. But since this is an Ohio thing as you said, State police would have to agree to release information and you know how state police are”_  
  
**“ahh, yeah far too well I know how they are…”**

 ****  
  


**_“Silver, do you copy? Are you still in Fairmount park with Skylar?”_**  
_“Yeah, Copy. What’s going on?”_  
****_“We are in the northern section of Fairmount Park and I think I found Tyler Joseph’s Cellphone…”_


	14. Dead Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 9*
> 
> Key:
> 
> Bold ~ Detective Skylar  
> Italic ~ Detective Silver  
> Italic and Bold ~ Detective Reznor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens! I promised you guys another extra and this is the extra with the edit i made! Yay!  
> Okay I am very aware that some devices (phones for example) will not show the edit and pictures in it's entirety because the edit or picture is too large for the screen and won't show up completely. I'm sorry about that frens! I'm still trying to work it out to the point that everyone can see the pictures that go with my fic and be happy with them <3 I'm trying my best with that <3
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy and that you are having a good time in which ever part of the world you may be in <3  
> and Remember  
> Take Care and Stay Safe, Frens <3

_“Detective Reznor, where was the phone? Right here?”_  
  
**_“Yes, I photographed it and placed markers and everything. I looked through it with my gloves on and this is indeed Tyler Joseph’s phone”_**  
  
**“You mean?”**  
  
**_“Family photos, videos of him singing, pictures and videos on class trips, pictures with I am guessing friends, and pictures at church”_**  
  
**“Okay, this is a start! What is in there?”**  
  
**_“Well there is something interesting with this phone, it doesn’t have an SD card in it…the photos we found are saved to the device, there could be a lot more on the SD, I am almost positive there is”_**  
  
_“Why do you think that?”_  
  
**_“Come on, a 16-year-old boy with not a hint of porn anywhere on his phone? No sexual text messages? No apps for anything remotely bad…he was hiding something”_**  
  
**“He was hiding something, possibly from his mom who refuses to accept the possibility that her son could have been gay”**  
  
**_“Being gay and Christian with a homophobic Christian mom, yeah that could do it”_**  
  
_“Yeah, I feel bad for him. Uh…without the SD card, we have nothing…right?”_  
  
**_“Nothing that was on it, we can see. Just what saved to the phone. His phone is interesting though…this phone is very high tech so I’m guessing his SD card was actually an SDHC which means anything from a 4GB to a 32GB memory hold and with this phone and the quality of the photos here, I think it’s closer to the 32GB memory hold”_**  
  
**“I see…are those cards small?”**  
  
**_“Yeah, they are tiny”_**  
  
**“I see”**

_“Can I see that phone, Detective Reznor?”_

**_“Sure, be my guest to look through it, you just need to have your gloves on”_ **

_“I do have them on, let me just look through it, I would suspect he has something on his phone, anything, really…anything that could help us at all”_  
  
**_“This isn’t a weird place in the park for a phone to go missing, you know…I mean…it’s not the eastern section of the park. The eastern part of here is more wooded, used a lot for sexual encounters and for the past 10 years, The Fairmount Park Killer’s dumping ground. This section is more public, has a walk way and bike trail. Also it has a bridge over a body of water, people walk over that bridge constantly and lake boats pass under the bridge, equally as much…is it possible that Tyler is just a runaway and he stopped her for a little while then left?”_**  
  
**“It’s possible, but is it probable? If he left his phone, why is his SD card missing?”**  
  
**_“Good point…”_**  
  
_“Wait a minute…there is a secret photo album here, let me see if I can access it…it looks to only have one picture…”_  
  
**“Go for it, it could help us…”**  
  
_“Huh? It’s a picture of himself”_  
  
**_“Let me see…”_**

 

[ ](http://s1152.photobucket.com/user/PoisonIvyBlossom/media/Tyler%20cuting%20his%20hair%20WTSC%20white%20and%20faded_zpsos0qi83v.jpg.html)

 

 ** _“Well…I’m not sure what to make of that…”_**  
  
_“Well, someone else took that picture of him, that’s for sure unless he put a timer to take the picture and most phone timers do a 10 second timer, I mean it is possible and probable, and he edited the picture...obviously”_  
  
**_“How probable and possible is it that he has the SD card with him and he is just fucking with us?”_**  
  
**“Possible, though I doubt probable”**  
  
_“But how likely is it he was forced to toss it here with no SD card to throw police off of someone else who could have kidnapped him?”_  
  
**“Likely”**  
  
**_“How likely is it that whoever took him, never even touched this phone so no other fingerprints, other than Tyler’s?”_**  
  
**“…Likely…How fucked is this Tyler kid?”**  
  
_“So very extremely fucked, Honestly”_


	15. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please help my heart heal  
> We will stop dreaming, we will stop racing towards a warm place" ~ Tyler Joseph
> 
> Key to this Chapter:  
> Italic ~ Nightmare Voice  
> Italic, Bold, Underline ~ Small, Fragile Voice  
> Bold and Underline ~ Guiding/Antagonizing Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Frens!! I know i have been gone for like a month but! I HAVE BROUGHT YOU NOT JUST ONE CHAPTER, BUT THREE! How yall like me now?! Hehe okay, so in all honesty this and the two other parts are on my laptop as one entire chapter but i didn't want to do that to yall and make yall fall asleep on me so i'm going to do things like this, I'm posting this part up, and then in 4 hours i will post part 2 up, then tomorrow as soon as i wake up, I post part three!  
> You guys know I love yall so, i had to make it nice and long to get yall to try and excuse my absence <3  
> Just so you know the 2nd part (the part i'm putting up in 4 hours) is VERY strong so i'm giving you guys a warning in this chapter and also in 4 hours again. So yes, I hope you guys enjoy and yall forgive me for leaving for a bit! <3 I love you guys and as ALWAYS!  
> Stay Strong and Take Care, Frens <3 <3
> 
> (Also I have been making video edits for this fic on my instagram, iris_excess, so if you guys have an instagram and are interested in seeing my edits, feel free to go in there and look at them, you don't even have to follow me to be honest, I just want you guys to enjoy my fic to the fullest <3 I work really hard on the edits even though they are crappy haha but yeah, If you see them, i hope you guys enjoy them <3 )

Tyler POV

“…I love you…do you love me?”  
“I love you….”  
“That’s good…hey, have you ever seen the sunrise?”  
“No, what’s that?”  
“When it stops being dark out here and the sun comes up”  
“Oh, no I haven’t…is it pretty?”  
“Very pretty”  
“J…”  
“Yes, T…?”  
“what are the trees telling you?”  
“They aren’t saying much, they are enjoying the moment…why?”  
“You say the trees speak to you, why don’t I ever hear them?”  
“It takes time and being quiet to actually hear what they are saying…maybe one day you will be able to hear them, maybe even be better than me and be able to talk amongst them…”  
“I hope so! I would love to…”

_SLEEP!_

I jolted up from my bed, what the hell was that? I…what was that? Was that JoJo? He sounded different…younger? And who was I? I sounded…different? I was looking up at trees, I couldn’t see who I was talking to, if it was JoJo, I couldn’t see him…the names in the dream were muffled out. As if vocally blurred or something…what is this? Oh well, it must be one of those weird dreams you get from eating sweets at 12am and falling asleep two hours ago…

“Meow” DeeDee meowed at me, he was sniffing me. He must have been startled at me waking up so suddenly.  
“Hey babes, how are you? Are you okay?” I spoke to him petting him, he was indeed a munchkin cat. Such small and short legs for his body, he was adorable. I loved him, he was like my son…he was our son, JoJo loved him as well. DeeDee made his way away from him and into his little bed in the corner of my room. I was chained up to the wall but that didn’t impede me from doing things in my room, but It did impede me from leaving the room…JoJo wants to keep me safe, so I understand and accept it…

**_ Notebook, Notebook _ **

I guess I can put a tally in my notebook.  
“There it is, this is tally 1,899, wow…that’s not that long, right? Maybe I should do the math, it doesn’t seem that long…”  
“Ty”  
“Yes?” I asked as JoJo’s voice boomed through the door slightly, as he cracked it open.  
“Why are you awake?”  
“I had a nightmare…” I said not really knowing if the dream was just a weird dream or just a nightmare…  
“Aw BabyBoy, want to talk to me about it?” he asked sweetly walking through the door.  
“Yes, of course…” I said as I scooted over in bed and smiled shyly. I could feel him going to baby me and give me more attention than usual and that always makes me happier. He sat down in bed with me, I feel bad that I bleed on the bed a few days ago because of Joshua, but JoJo would clean that up soon, don’t get me wrong, I tried to clean it but I don’t really have much cleaning products in my room…  
“What was the big bad nightmare my TyTyBaby, had? How could I make it better?” he said wrapping his arms around me, I instinctively rested my head on his chest and felt his breath on me and I heard his heart, his strong thumps but still a little thud underneath it, I could still hear it…maybe he has two hearts? He began rocking me back and forth slightly and I took that as an indication to start talking about what I had awoken from

“It wasn’t really a nightmare, I was just looking up at…stuff…”  
“Aw, what type of stuff Babyboy? You want to tell me?”  
“Of course…it was like…like…nature…a forest…”  
“A forest?” he asked. JoJo’s heart did something strange, his breath changed and his arms tightened around me a little more, not in an uncomfortable way though, but it was a bit strange  
“Yeah…like…branches and leaves of trees”  
He didn’t say anything, he kind of stopped rocking me and sat in my bed, kind of like a statue with me in his arms. I moved my head upwards at him and I saw his eyes were, vacant. A bit glazed over, maybe even stunned I might go as far to say. I continued to stare up at him and he eventually shook his head a bit and blinked.  
“Was that the nightmare Babyboy? That doesn’t sound too bad” he tried to smile at me, though there was a hint of worry behind his smile, I could tell.  
“yeah that I was it” I tried to hide my smile from him, my bottom teeth still are ugly, still very much so hideous…  
**_“_** I need to get you braces Tyler, I don’t know when your teeth got so bad” I heard my mom’s voice ringing in my ears, my memory was a bit shot, I must admit…I mean…these past few days I have had this voice in my head telling me to remember things but I remember only bits and pieces…  
**The beatings, do you remember those?**  
_The what?_  
**You know…**  
_No…I don’t…_  
  
“Your teeth look like crap” I heard my little brother tell me, he wasn’t that much younger than me, but my mom was seemingly favoring him, between he and I. He did all the things she would expect me to do, I mean my mother did take pride in my ability to cook, clean, sew and other things…but she seemingly wanted me to be able to do “manly” things. I couldn’t fix things, I mean I could…but it took me a lot of time because I wanted to know and was more technical…Zack was more trial and error, he didn’t care if he got hurt…he just went and did things and finished them a lot faster. He was more hands on with fixing things and I was more hands on with…girly things, I guess? I liked computers too, I was actually pretty good too…to be completely honest, I did some illegal things with computers but, I never used it for bad. I was always helping people. I was kind of like techno weenie robin hood…I borrowed money from the upper class students and their parents from my school and gave them to the lower class students and their families. Cracking and hacking bank accounts was always easy and fun, and very fulfilling for me and the people who actually needed the money. After Zack’s comment, I sighed gently to myself and told him that wasn’t very kind of him to say to me.  
“Oh well, they look like crap…what do you want me to do about them?”  
“To not mess with me about them any more…” I mumbled as I pulled out my notebook and wrote something in there, I don’t remember what I was writing, I can’t even see what I was writing in my memory…what was it?  
  
**_Notebook, Notebook_**  
  
“Tyler…” My mom came into the room  
“Yes mom?” I asked, I wasn’t really sure what I had done this time, or if I was going to be praised for something I did, said, or made…which was it?  
“Uh…could you leave the room?” she asked my brother, he didn’t give a fight…he more or less shrugged his shoulders and left. My mom had my book bag in her hands, and I’m not sure why…unless…  
“Tyler, why do you have girl clothes in your book bag?”  
“Uh, they are Jacelynn’s, she asked me to resize and lengthen her skirt half an inch, then to resize her blouse, she lost some weight and got a bit taller…” I have no idea why she would think they were mine…I mean…  
“I say you are lying, Tyler”  
“No, why would I wear girl clothing?”  
“…Well, either way…you are going to wear these things tomorrow”  
“But why?!”  
“So you can know it’s disgusting for a boy to wear girl clothes, so you can know exactly how shameful it is for a boy to wear clothing like these, so you can know that it’s in your best interest to not wear girl clothes”  
“But…they are for Jacelynn…”  
“Either way, you need to learn how it feels to be shameful so you won’t be shameful”  
  
_That…That wasn’t a beating…_  
**Dig a little deeper…you will see…**  
  
“See Tyler, didn’t you feel so pretty?” my mother mocked me. I pretty much walked around all of Columbus in a jean skirt that left me so uncomfortably exposed that I refused to sit the whole day, and a shirt with a pretty low cut neckline, to be honest it was a nice shirt. it’s just it was really tight and maybe I could do without the rainbow pinstripe pattern but aside from that, I really seemed to like this outfit. Though the stares, scoffs, glares, and just utter looks of disgust, I could also do without…  
“Can I go upstairs mom?” I was really over today, I just wanted to go into my room and hide, I mean…at least there no one could be mean to me, right?  
“Sure” my mom said nonchalantly, she seems to feel like I learned this “lesson” well.  
  
_Nothing…_  
**Dig, dig deeper, just dig**  
  
I turned on the radio and a song with a really good beat came on just as I was going to take off my clothes, I mean…Jacelynn’s clothes…  
I really was digging the song, even from the first beat, I cranked up the volume as high as I knew wouldn’t get in trouble for. Zack was a friend’s house, Maddie was at a sleep over and Jay was at my grandmother’s house…  
  
**Oh! Talk about your dad…where is he?**  
_What?_  
**Where is he?**  
_I-I…I don’t know_  
**Oh yes you do, where is he, Tyler? Tyler? ….Tyler?**  
_…what…?  
  
_  
  
  
  
  
It was never talked about, but my parents argued a lot but of course to keep up the façade of a happy home and a good life, they never let it show. Our closest family friends knew and I could only imagine they would blab to their friends and everyone else knew, but they just never mentioned it to our family in our faces. It was more like arguments in the sanctity of the four walls that enclosed them in their bedroom. Those walls were holding secrets that kept them separated and alone from each other despite their physical proximity. I’m not sure what those secrets were, I just heard muffles. I muffled my ears, I might have been really young, but I knew that anger was never a good thing and that my parents weren’t in a good space because they were angry. They would pretend every day to love each other and care for the outside world and for me, my brothers and sister but, once in that bedroom, they couldn’t stand each other.  
  
“Dad?”  
“Hey little guy…what are you doing up so early?”  
“I wanted to make you and mom breakfast…it wouldn’t be much but cereal but it was made with love…”  
“Aw, that’s sweet Tyler…listen uh…daddy is going out…to buy something for his car”  
“but it’s really early, poppa…”  
“Yeah, so you should get back to bed”  
“But I want to make breakfast for you and momma…”  
“hey…little guy…” my dad sighed, he seemed to be full of remorse. “Listen Tyler, poppa has to go…he’ll be back soon, okay? you are the man of the house till I come back, okay? you are little, but you are very strong. You are gifted, you are talented, I can see you are a great man already, all you have to do is grow up, and everything will fall into place…you know?”  
“uh…I think so”  
“Yeah…so soon, I’ll be back, okay? I wish you, your brothers and your sister well…”  
“What about momma?”  
“I…I wish her well too, I’ll come back soon, okay? now just go back to your room and pretend you are sleeping…also pretend you didn’t see me, okay? that you didn’t know I left…is that okay with you little guy?”  
“Yeah…that’s fine”  
“Okay…” he spoke just as he was going to leave through the door, I charged at him and gave him a tight hug. I think even at 9 years old, I knew he was never going to come back. My father wasn’t very unified with my mother, she was…hard to live with, it kind of was like her way or no way. I think she resented the fact that my father left her…the way he did it was in a way that was…painful I could imagine, but it was the best for him… a few years later I figured out he left her an index card that said “Where it all began, where it all shall end”, it was a phrase my mom would say mockingly to herself every time something went wrong. My mom never spoke of the index card but she had a hatred of them after my dad left so, I could only assume. But I think my mom didn’t really consider the message on that index card…I have one picture of my parent’s on their wedding day in a frame and it was only because I stole it away from the pile my mom was burning in anger. It was small but…it broke, I was holding it in my hands one day, after a really hard day. I missed my dad, he made me think, in his own way that everything would be okay eventually…but after he left, things got really…different with my mom. I think it’s because I look similar to my dad…  
Anyways, I held the frame too hard and the glass broke, I thought it was my fault and…I couldn’t handle it, I began weeping. The only picture of a unified parental dynamic, had broken, like I had broken a few years beforehand but I refused to believe it. Then popped out the picture and then a folded up paper. The paper was never there, not that I believe…I unraveled the paper and the letter was numbered. 21 out of 36, my parents had 36 pictures of their wedding day around the house, not the same picture obviously. The picture in the frame I broke, it was their first kiss as a married couple, I believe…  
  
The words on the paper were “Where it all began, it all shall end. We got married by the court and we are now divorced by the court, I’m sorry…I couldn’t live with you…I couldn’t live with a person I stopped loving when I started seeing their true colors come out. I fell in love with a woman who cared and loved everyone, now all I see is a woman with anger and hate in her heart…and I can’t deal with that…but I still wish you all the best in life, I just couldn’t deal with it…I know you aren’t the best of human beings but I could only hope you aren’t a horrible mother, Protect Tyler…he is our oldest son and he is the spitting image of me…you may hate me, but don’t hate our children…they are a part of you, they didn’t ask to be in this world, don’t make their life has horrible as you made mine. I have the choice to leave which I have taken, they don’t have that option…don’t hurt them, they don’t deserve your hate and anger, let me take all that, just give them love, compassion and the motherly love I hope you have in the black hollow cold wretched heart you have, which you deceived me to think it was the opposite.  
Anyways…  
The apple falls far from the tree, your rotten and so beautiful, I'd like to keep you here with me, and tell you that your beautiful, You take the pills to fall asleep, and dream that you’re invisible, Tormented dreams, you stay awake, eventually you will be able to recall when you were capable...You’re empty and so beautiful, I'll keep you here with me…  
  
It's a pretty song, it has a ring to it, doesn’t it? Sorry I have to give you back mine” then his signature followed…  
  
**Ah, that’s where Poppa Joseph went…**  
_Yeah…_  
**Oh well, what happened?**  
__What do you mean…?


	16. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No matter how painful the kisses are, I still tremble with joy  
> I'm happy I met you  
> Please help my heart heal" ~ Tyler Joseph
> 
> Key to this Chapter:  
> Bold and Underlined ~ Antagonizing/ Guiding voice  
> Italic and Underlined ~ Tyler's inner dialogue with the voice  
> Italic ~ Things that have been said before by one of Tyler's Inner voices  
> Bold ~ Things that have said in past chapters either by Tyler, Josh, or is one of Tyler's inner thoughts
> 
> The majority of this chapter is told in flashbacks/memories or Tyler's inner thoughts/dialogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again frens! here is your 2nd part! Okay so this is a strong chapter because of violence so please be very careful when reading this and really understand the trigger warnings of violence here! I don't think there is really anything else to tell you guys other than to Enjoy! and as always  
> Take Care and Stay Safe, Frens! <3
> 
> I pick the title Pride because one of my favorite character in the teen drama Dregrassi, his name was Marco and he had episodes dedicated to him solely and his episodes were entitled Pride (Marco was the first gay character in that drama and in those episodes his sexuality and his coming to terms with his sexuality was explored and showed both acceptance and intolerance for the LGBTQ community). 2nd reason is because it's such a strong and powerful word that just...is amazing to me so, yes...this is the Pride Chapter <3

“Okay maybe a little louder wouldn’t hurt” I said as I cranked the song two or three notches louder  
I shimmied and shook my hips to the song, it was so energetic and it made me feel really good about myself and a bit better about my day. I let my hips move freely and my arms and hands followed, it would be a total lie if I said I didn’t throw in a few booty pops and I winded and grinded on the air, I stomped to the drum machine and clapped, I was in complete and utter euphoria, and I rubbed my chest and hips and ribs, I felt…sexy? Yeah, sexy…though I kind of wish I took off Jacelynn’s clothes before I started partying by myself in my room, with this song. It’s actually not too bad to dance around dressed like this, I feel pretty damn good, I must admit. As I danced around, I closed my eyes and felt every beat, every elevation, every crash, every scream…it all entered me and shook me deeply and violently but it was very welcomed. The eventual whispers in the song brought me chills that made me feel and be a little lighter on my feet but when the growling vocals came back in, I was back to stomping and swiveling myself seductively in my room. In a strange way I felt…free with this song, I felt attractive and damn near like I would actually do a pretty decent job at seducing someone at this moment but…still I’m in Jacelynn’s clothes, I should take them off before I sweat in them too much…I think she wouldn’t appreciate smelly clothes with nasty sweat stains in them, but this song is so good, just got to let this song finish, it’s amazing, it’s perfect, I need this moment for myself to be free to be…  
“TYLER!” My mom stormed in screaming, oh boy…this can’t end up good…  
“Mom…” I said softly to myself in almost a whimper, she didn’t seem too pleased that I was dancing to music so provocatively and…she couldn’t be too pleased that I was still in my friend’s clothing. My mother stampeded her way to the radio and slammed her fists on it, breaking it my best guess.  
“Tyler! Have you lost your mind?! I told you to take those clothes off! Why are you dancing like a stripper in here?! Have you lost your mind?! what were you doing?!” the barrage of questions came storming towards me and I didn’t really have any answers.  
“Answer me Tyler!”  
“I’m sorry Mom, it’s just as I was going to take the clothes off the song came on and I wanted to dance around to it…” I’m not very sure she would accept this answer but it was worth a try.  
“Tyler! I told you to put those clothes on to make you understand that little boys and growing men should be ashamed of being presented in that way and you are parading yourself around like a proper heathens whore in your room! It’s absolutely disgusting!”  
“I’m sorry mom, but its really not that bad, I’m here alone…”  
“You are never alone! God is watching everything you do and his is ashamed of you right now! Are you happy that you have made God, ashamed Tyler?”  
I didn’t know how to respond, it’s not like I meant to embarrass God.  
“Answer me, Tyler!”  
“No, it wasn’t my intention to upset God, mom…”  
she sighed angrily and she began to make her way away from me, but I still felt the need to try and defend myself  
“But God is loving and accepting, so they wouldn’t have a problem with this slip up, right mom?” after this statement she glared at me. God knows that it wasn’t my intention to offend them and God knows that I don’t like dressing up as a girl, so it’s not that bad, right? My mom left without saying a word after that glare. She left me in my room, and I just sat down in my bed, how was I going to explain to Zack that our mother broke our radio because of something I accidently did? I heard my mom running a bath, did I stress her out? I seriously didn’t mean to cause her any damage; it wasn’t my intention at all! I really didn’t want to hurt anyone, it’s just I wanted to be happy, just for a moment…  
to be completely honest, it didn’t cross my mind to take off the clothes…I know I should have but it’s just…in these clothes, I experienced happiness and I didn’t want it to leave me, so I just sat in bed and waited until my mom was done with her bath, then I really knew I should take my clothes off, well Jacelynn’s clothes, off. My mom busted through the door again, she was yelling at me but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. To be completely honest, her coming through the door like that seem kind of like a flash grenade to me. Very loud, so I couldn’t hear what she was screaming at me, the memory of what happened is also very hazy as well, I don’t remember specifics, just more or less the feelings and the sensations. Blurred vision, muffled or muted sound, but she was pulling me by my arms and dragging me into the bathroom. she stripped me of Jacelynn’s clothes and my underwear and tossed me into the scolding hot bath, she was screaming at me, I couldn’t decipher what she was saying…I don’t remember, I just know I was screaming, I was crying, I was in pain, I was in…shock. My body had gone into shock and I began floating above myself, I saw myself struggle in the bathtub, I was screaming in agony because the water was that hot and I could see even more fiery tears streaming from my eyes. I kept trying to get out but she kept me in there, she wouldn’t let me get out and she kept the hot water running in the bathtub, not caring if it was over flowing from the tub, I guess she wanted to teach me a lesson. There had to be something in my head to have kept me from blacking out completely…I guess it was the thought that eventually…it would be all over…

**Wow! That’s a pretty good thing to remember Tyler!**  
_…I don’t think it is…I-I…I can’t…I need to stop, I don’t want to keep thinking about this…_  
**Ah but we still having gotten to the beatings, that’s the good part**  
_It’s not! Stop it! I was never beaten!_  
**Are you sure about that? Rob & Ty?**  
_Stop it!_  
**Rob & Ty, Will & Jo?**  
_LEAVE ME ALONE!_  
**On the Rob & Jo?**  
_…stop…._

“You are the absolute cutest, Ty” JoJo spoke very effortlessly, he smiled at me and his teeth caught the reflection of his computer screen just right…I could hear my heart sing, melt, and mend…all at the same time. I blushed as his comment, it always made me happy that he thought I was cute. Though honestly speaking, I would much rather him to think of me as sexy and hot, but since he likes cute and adorable, I guess I can deal with that too.  
“Anyways, what were you telling me earlier? Something about your mom and brother getting together to talk about something?” he asked me.  
“Yeah, I’m not quite sure what it was about but at least it has given me the rare opportunity to talk to you here in an open house alone” I smiled shyly. Then I remembered my bottom teeth, and stopped smiling  
“Aw TyTy, you are so fucking adorable, and hey, I love your smile…never stop smiling, okay? Not even…”  
“Not Even?”  
“Uh…Tyler, do you think it’s honestly a good idea for us to be together?”  
“Yes, why? You don’t?” I asked, my heart started to crack, no…he can’t be breaking up with me…can he?  
“It’s not that Ty…it’s just…I know myself and I know how I am and I don’t want to put you through all the things I put other people through, ya know?”  
“No…please….look! look!” I said as I felt tears weld up in my eyes, but I hoped up out of my bed and turned on the lights in my room. I turned on the radio and a song came on.  
  
 It was a dark gothic song I had heard before but I knew it would pick up after a bit. I began to dance in my bedroom, pretending as if I was actually working a stripper pole. I have to try and keep him, this isn’t who I am but I have to try and keep him, I love him, I can’t lose him, he makes me happy and feel good, he can’t leave me…I need him…  
“Don’t you want me, Daddy? Don’t you love it when your Babyboy acts like your little cum slut on camera for you? Don’t you still want me, Daddy?”  
“Ty…come on, it has nothing to do with that…it has to do with…”  
“You love me though, you never even got to touch me like you always said you wanted to. You know you love me. You want to toss me on a bed with my hands handcuffed behind my back while you fuck my tight little ass, you know you want that” I tried to say seductively but I have no idea if it was working, this isn’t who I am but I have to try something so he doesn’t leave me. If I have to pretend to be something or someone I’m not for him, I would do it without a second thought. I shimmied, shook, sashayed and twirled myself as much as I could, as much as I thought I need to but then I pushed myself to be more sexual and aggressive than I thought I ever could be.   
“Ty…”  
“You want me! Say you want me!” I said slightly with a smirk on my face before I turned around to shake my booty in front of the camera, in all honesty…I was trying to hide my face, I wanted to cry, I was going to cry. Why did the only source of happiness I had, want to leave me?

_Don’t get attached…love is always ripped away by the seams…_

“Ty…”  
“Please say you want me…please…” I stopped the act after I uttered this phrase. I was broken, why was he doing this to me? Why was he hurting me like this…why? I began to cry, weep I would go as far to say even. I made my way to the radio to turn it off and I sat in front of my laptop, broken, down and out, defeated…why didn’t he love me?”  
“Ty…I love you okay, I find you so attractive, your being in general is so beautiful…I would even go as far as to call you an angel…but I know I’m not an angel…that’s why I want you to find another angel…because angels and demons mixing together is never a good thing…”  
“Why are you lying to me?”  
“I’m not lying to you, Ty…I want to protect you…I want to love you but I need to protect you above all else…”  
“How are you going to protect me if we aren’t together?”  
“Ty…”  
I heard the front door open and car keys fall into the end table near the front door.  
“Oh lord, my mom and brother are back home, let me take you and my camera off of video. Mute yourself okay? they don’t need to hear your presence”  
“Okay Babyboy, clean your face up for me too, I doubt they would like to see you were crying…”  
“yeah...” I did the actions to take him off of my screen and hopefully he did mute himself, I’m not sure how my mom and Zack would react to me talking to someone a little older than me on webcam.

I can’t tell you exactly what was happening, I could feel Zack searching for me, even though he was 13, he had heavier steps than I did. He was a bit bigger than me, well…I have always been really small. I’ve always been the small, lanky, weak kid. Zack was bigger than me in muscle mass and I looked like his little brother, even though I am older than him. He played sports and I tried and was decent but I would much rather sit behind a computer screen or cook or clean, something more domestic in that aspect. It’s not that I couldn’t do the things he did, it’s just I didn’t want to…but I did them to try and please my mother…  
“BOOM” Zack was slamming doors and his steps were clapping like thunder as well. He sounds angry, what did I do? Where is my mom? Does she know he is angry? I’m not sure what came over me at that moment but the thought of locking the door crossed my mind, I felt fear. It wasn’t like a nervous fear, it was a crippling almost paralyzing fear I felt, it was the fear you feel when you know the only thing that could transpire was utter carnage. Zack wouldn’t hurt me, right? I felt the fear take a hold of me and grip my chest tight and my heart began beating faster, trying to loosen the tightness I felt around me. I felt it, pure fear, as if something horrible was coming my way.  
“BOOM” I heard more doors slam and quake with a rumble. I-I…I have to lock the door, this isn’t going to be good. I began to quietly race on my tip toes towards the door to lock it, but Zack threw it open right before I could touch the door knob. He hit my hand and my knee with the door when he threw it open. Zack looked bothered, as if he was crying and honestly upset…what’s wrong with my little brother?  
“Zackie, what’s wrong?” I asked as I approached him, he was huffing and puffing, he was honestly bothered or hurt. Then he said something that bothered me deeply and I knew was the work of my mother.  
“Don’t touch me, Fag!”  
“Zackie! What’s wrong? Why are you saying that to me?!”  
“Mommy told me you like boys and the bible speaks about it as something bad!”  
“Zackie! We are supposed to love the sinner and not their sin! Listen to me!”  
“I’m sorry Tyler” he spoke with a hefty painful sigh, before his balled up right fist hit the left side of my face, I was stunned…hurt of course, Zack hits like a grown man but...but our mother instructed him to hit me…not just that, to beat my ass. I dropped to the ground of the bedroom and he swiftly pounced on me and he pulverized my face to an oblivion. Left, right, left, right. I felt his fists crush into my face repeatedly. I didn’t just feel bruises, I felt ruptures beginning to happen, especially my eyes. It tried my best to fight him off, but I’m smaller than him, he overpowered me easily. As much as I tried to defend myself by trying to push him off of me, it didn’t work. I didn’t try to hit him back because he was my brother, he was young he was only doing what my mother instructed him to do. He wasn’t trying to hurt me, he was just trying to obey my mom…  
After what seemed like hours but could have only been minutes, he got off of me. His hands bloody and a few splatters on his face, from what I could see. I was a bit blinded by my own blood, I couldn’t see very well. He staggered to his feet and he was drained, I could feel his soul leaving him, at that moment.  
“I-I…I’m-I’m sorry…I’m so sorry big bro…I really am…” he spoke in a crackly voice, almost as if he was overwhelmed. I heard his steps as he staggered away from me, my best bet looking at my bloody and battered face and body. They were heavy, so very heavy. He didn’t want to do this…he really didn’t. Now and even then, I understood that. He left the room and I was left to lie there. My mother didn’t attempt to even check up on me. Maybe she knew Zack would do his best to beat the gay out of me and not to death. I lied there…for about 40 minutes I would say, I wondered what I did to deserve this…oh yeah, being in love a guy and looking like my father…  
then I heard it…I heard JoJo.  
“TyTy…” he spoke. Fuck, I forgot to mute my microphone. I scattered my way to my laptop. I didn’t know if to show him my face…I didn’t even know what it looked like, I just knew how it felt.  
“TyTy…can I see you?” he asked, his voice was full of unease, but if he was going to leave me…I guess he deserved to know what I ended up looking like, because of my love for him. I switched my camera on and I was disgusted with what I saw. My hair was disheveled, my face under all the blood was red and already deepening to the purple-ish hue, my lip was busted and swelling up, my eyes were bruising up…I looked like I had been through hell. I don’t what came over me…I left out a sigh where blood I had swallowed, splattered a bit onto my laptop, and I began to cry. I couldn’t take it…this isn’t the life I want…I wouldn’t wish this life on my worst enemy…

_No, that’s not the life you wanted, that’s not the life you wanted…JoJo, JoJo, JoJo…Joshua?_

After a moment of crying and letting my tears clean my eyes and cheeks a bit, I looked up at my screen, JoJo wasn’t there, I had to do the key commands to see him. I did them and he came back onto my screen. I saw him, he looked genuinely hurt and worried. He looked disgusted, but not seemingly at me though. I looked at him and he looked at me. It was a few moments of silence we shared. I felt like he finally understood why he made me happy, he didn’t have to say anything in my worst moments, to make me feel loved, cared for, and at peace. Before I could even work up the courage to break the silence he simply said “I love you, Babyboy”  
“What…what do you mean? I thought you wanted to protect me by letting go…”  
“…one day you won’t be hurting like that anymore. You’re my Babyboy…I refuse to let you go and let you hurt like that…I don’t want you to hurt anymore. You are mine, I’m going to protect you. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to you again, I promise” he said looking into my bloody face through the computer screen.

****_…you are my world, you are mine and only mine, you are the most important person in my life and you are my most valued and prized relationship, you are my one and only…You are my BabyBoy_  
Joshua is hurting me, Joshua is killing me  
  
I love you, TyTy…always remember that  
  
You said you wouldn’t leave me and that you love me…you said you would protect me…protect me…please…  
  
That our love was beautiful and pure…it was nothing to feel guilty about, because we were in love and God is all about love…  
  
AGHH!! Help! Ahh! Help…  
  
No baby, keep smiling, I love it when you are happy, it turns me on more than any amount of dirty talk ever could

**Ah! There it is…you remembered something**  
_…yeah…_

  
“Hey, TyTy… Hey…My Babyboy, my TyTyBaby…” I heard JoJo’s voice fade into my ears, I snapped out of my haze and gave out a little crackly word…  
“Yes?”


	17. Intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Prologue Part 10*
> 
> Key:
> 
> Bold ~ Detective Silver  
> Italic ~ Detective Reznor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Frens! I know it's been like two months since I've shown myself around here but I've had some personal changes and my mental health has been on a rollercoaster as well and because this is such an intense fic I have to be in my right mind to continue it, so I am back!! As you can see this is not a chapter but a Prologue Part which I used to call Extras. To refresh you guys these are parts from before the fic and addition to the fic. they give insight to the fic because in the actual fic there is only Tyler and Josh. that is it, so to give more perspective and depth for you guys these Prologue Parts or Extras (whichever you prefer to call them) come up between chapters and are a bridge of some sorts between chapters, and they include characters that are important for the progression of the prologue but not the fic, but the ideas and situations add to the fic, if you guys understand? (it's 12am, I'm sorry if i don't make sense). Think of the Prologue Parts as their own story in conjunction to the fic.  
> Also! I'm going to see if I can add the edits I made for my fic on here! because I made edits for it on Instagram and I think you guys might like them (even though they kind of suck)  
> I will try to add them either at the end of this or the beginning and/or end of the next official chapter (I have to upload my edits somewhere to them put them here so it might be on the next official chapter)
> 
> This does have references to suicide, bullying, homophobia, etc and is a bit emotionally heavy for a Prologue Part so warning for that <3
> 
> Anyways I hope you all are having a wonderful time in whichever part of the world you may be in and I hope you all Stay Strong and Take Care as always <3 <3 <3

**“Reznor”**

_“Listen, Silver, I’ve been reviewing Tyler Joseph’s phone, the little bit of eyewitness accounts we have, everything we had, I have quadruple checked not just today but for a few days straight…this kid has vanished into thin air”_

**“Well Reznor, I was actually going to suggest you take a break but since you are very much in this case, maybe you are looking too hard at a possible death and vanishing, and not the possibility of him still being alive and the truth of his life through photos”**

_“You are telling me to look through his family photos and other photos saved to the device?”_

**“worth a shot? His mom is evidently homophobic and this kid was hiding something and that something we don’t know. We don’t have anything so we must start somewhere. Let’s start from the inside out, that sound okay?”**

_“Sure…”_

**“Reznor…”**

_“…Silver…this kid wasn’t happy, someone or a group of people were messing with him…like he is smiling…but he isn’t there…his eyes are vacant. He is so unhappy…”_

**“I think his family was, his friends maybe too. You think those church kids in those pictures like him?”**

_“Not at all, so what are you suggesting?”_

**“We investigate the family, the friends, the church, the school, places he often visited, see what’s going on…hey did anyone ever come back with the reports of Chris and Kairi? His friends? We were supposed to get statements from them”**

_“Yeah, basically they assumed the same as Brandon, he would go missing sooner or later…though Kairi whom Tyler’s mother said was potentially his girlfriend though I highly doubt because Kairi was very proudly holding hands with her girlfriend, suggested the idea of Tyler running away. Kairi said Tyler’s mother was very angry with Tyler since his parent’s marriage fell apart, mainly because Tyler looks like his father”_

**“Where is Tyler’s father? Could Tyler have run away with his father, if he did run away?”**

_“Detective Skylar was way ahead of you and looked for his father, Tyler’s father left the US almost two years ago, gave up his US citizenship and now lives in Beirut”_

**“Lebanon? Why there?”**

_“Tyler’s paternal side is Lebanese”_

**“Oh, okay, now I understand. Even then, can’t Tyler do the same?”**

_“Not exactly, to legally give up citizenship you have to be over 18”_

**“who are we shitting, we have a 16-year-old computer genius. Why wouldn’t he be able to hack a computer, fake his age and give up his citizenship to live with his father in Beirut?”**

_“Good point, although Skylar was also ahead of you there and she checked…Tyler is still a US citizen and has not been a plane or a boat within the past few weeks so he is still in the US if not still in Ohio...So all I know is we should question and get official statements from family, friends, church members, classmates, everyone we can think of and see what we can pull together and maybe just make his case a runaway case for the time being. I mean, The Fairmount Park Killer killed kids, he didn’t kidnap them for days or weeks ya know? This kid probably just got tired of the bullshit and just ran away. The need of the few does not outweigh the need of the many, Silver”_

**“What book did you get that last bit from, Reznor? Who is the few?”**

_“The few are Brandon, Chris, and Kairi, Silver. And I didn’t get that from a book…I got that from a kid, not much older than Tyler. His name was Adam, his was gay, his family was homophobic, everyone beat on him, hated him, made fun of him, he was put through hell. He had one friend, his best friend that he loved more than the moon, the stars, and the world put together, his best friend was named Anthony I think. Adam understood that the need of Anthony having him in his life didn’t outweigh the pain that he felt every day being bullied and ridiculed, even by his own family, the people who were supposed to love and protect him regardless of who he was and became. Silver…That line is a line that will haunt me forever because it was the last line of his suicide note. I will never forget that line because Adam felt his death would make things better like things would rest in the world. People would be shocked into realizing that people are hurting around them, that his death would make people think twice about making fun of someone or being rude. Adam in a way was a martyr but…he shouldn’t have been. He shouldn’t have had to take his own life so people could stop and think about their actions and words towards others”_

**“…The world we live in is scary Reznor, kids are meaner than ever and I don’t know why. I don’t think anyone knows why…Reznor…I know, I know…”**

_“I don’t know why I got into this field…”_

**“Reznor, you are smart. You are great at your field. You are beautiful, inside and out…but you are also very empathetic and you see these kids and you think, these are my babies…I got to save them…but not everyone can be saved Reznor, you have to remember that”**

_“You are right Silver, you are very right…Tyler is alive, I can feel it in my momma bear heart”_

**“Woman’s intuition?”**

_“Yes, woman’s intuition…Tyler is alive, but I know he is scared and hurting…but I know he is alive…I can feel it. I can feel it”_

**“Okay, now go home and get some rest. We need to get the statements from people tomorrow, okay?”**

_“Okay Silver, and stop smiling…my momma bear heart feels things that your manly heart cannot”_


End file.
